Forsythe Feb 14^th 1863

                       

Dear Wife

             As I feel rather lonesome this beautiful morning which is more like the last of Aprile than the time it is & with the exception of perhaps 8 or 10 has been all winter truly it is pleasant to enjoy such weather but how much greater it would be under other circumstances where all was peace & plenty & ones dearest friend on earth could share what then would be a real pleasure how we only realize that we are here by chance on anything but pleasant duty & almost a slave in fact as we have no controll over our actions which of course kind of hampers a free mind though this must be for soldiers must obey as there could be no concerted action I know you must have your lonely hours & I fully sympathise with you at all times for I know almost how you feel then but you do not complain & I hope your cause will / never be greater than it has been But I fear there are many poor women that will suffer with their money cares yet I cannot but think this unholy war must soon terminate but at present all things look dark & gloomy We have all received 2 month's pay as the privates have only got 1 & a part barring from 10 to 25 days they seem pretty well satisfyed; as the chance to send home is not verry good it seems There is no one yet chosen that all are willing to risk One Lieutenant Furgeson has had his resignation accepted & leaves on Monday But I do not feel altogether willing to send by a man I know nothing about If I could send Irvin or Samuel I would go their security to do their duty so far as the carrying was concerned but I could not on robery by other parties For there are some dangers I am aware in such a trip I have offered to carry it to St Louis but no officer can get off on any pretext but resign & likely to die So you see it may be some time until we meet again but you know / that only meeting to part again is only adding pain to pain true the pleasure is great & for the time seems for the time to be [?] but when the moment of parting comes it is a sorer trial than the first many are looking forward to come home in the spring say 1^st of May but I fear they will be disappointed if all are not dead of which is hardly probable I have about (220) Two Hundred & Twenty dollars to send home if any one comes I can send by I may send a bill in this by Furgeson as I hate to keep it about me Then if in any case I should need your presence you can get plenty to come but I do not anticipate any thing of the kind We will likely leave here next week for down White river So you can trace our course & no doubt there will be some time elaps before we will be certain to hear from each other but do not stop writing for one may come & that will be worth to me many times the cost of it & I feel the same to you so as long as there is hope I will keep writing as when we get on the march there will be / more that is new to write about & as I keep a kind of diary I can clear up once in a while & write to you so my diary or a history will be at home when I get there so I may want to peruse in after years There are but few in camp sick at this time perhaps a dozen in all the C^os a few cases of the measles still are in camp one man in the Reg died of them since here. you do not say any thing of your sister but Anna says she does not look much like you & I more than expect that is true as but few look like my Sarah I do not know much Martha says as Irvin does not confide in me verry much yet he seems to be pleased with my presence They both write a vast amount every 2 or 3 days they send a long letter I do not know whether they find anything more than a pleasant chat or not (I do not know) Capt Mann & the orderly or Howell are near all the time playing checkers but seldom I take a game I am too old you know to fool away my time in that way The Capt think he will resign if he cannot go home in the spring he think every thing is going to loss at home as Overman is away so much many of the boys are washing they have to wash often to keep clear of vermin John & George Ulmer washes for me They have never been sick since in the service they seem to enjoy themselvs as well as any one can some of the other boys do to Since writing I learn Capt Franklin will come home so I will send what money I can spare about 215 Dollars Two Hundred & Fifteen dollars if you want to use any of it do so & what you do not want let Amos have to use or if the time comes to buy vandervords place he can do so for me we may get paid again soon & there is 4 months / more due us on the first of next month but when we will get that I cannot tell you will have ten dollars paid Bosworth to be applied on James Gourleys note he holds against him & that will square me with all mankind We are ordered to march on Monday to Verracruz in this state about 35 or 45 miles; distances are very uncertain there I wish if you can when Leslie Minier come you would send me one ream letter or Congress paper good one thousand envelops & 500 stamps If he has not got money enough let him have some & I can get it back here all of these things are verry high & will be. We have been incamped here about 4 weeks & there has been perhaps 5000 men in all & in that time there has been twelve men buried. I think or about & but one of the 94 There are many more horses & mules dead they lay around thick how many I could not say but a great many. The have nothing hardly to eat but corn & some of that rotten or rather husky and wormy sometimes they have a little oats or hay but verry little of that I will send $17 dollars with Capt 

 

For Samuel

Captain Franklin so $17.00 will go to Anna of what you get provided any gets home It will be left at the home bank to be distributed I suppose What I send will be left there to so you can get it                                                                 

 

Feb 15 Sunday morning

My dear wife I am now seated on a rough rock with one of the Co books on my knee for a table I am in company with Sam^l & Irvin perhaps one hundred or more feet above the camp fires the smoke curls gracefully up in a straight line & the red bird whistles to his brown mate The blue bird warbles the wood peck croaks & tomtit & most other birds are warbling their spring notes & were you here another mate would be hearing the love notes of my heart but perhaps the melody could not be so sweet yet it would be pure what could but be pure on this most lovely & holy day I may attend church to day but I fear you will be at home & almost alone for want of one to go with you or mud or perhaps cold may keep you; although Sunday I hear the ring of the anville & men are busy with different work; war or warriors know no Sunday necessity is all that we go by we / have no drill on Sunday that much respect is shown but all the country around seems to be our center for there is hardly any thing to denote that the country is inhabited the houses are all hiden in some deep ravine no sound of church bell or merry laugh of school children going or coming to their homes you see them at home or at their deserted abodes in their scanty dress & shoeless feet stand or crowd the door way (for many have no shutter) in sullen silence no father to guard & mother unable to protect them against the ruthless hand of the unfeeling soldier Oh I must not lead of in such a strain I have saw it & it makes my heart bleed for my country & an early restoration of peace & all the way that can be brought about is by a conquering of those that have brought it on & forsaken their families & homes & cast their fortunes with the wicked ones of the Rebellion

 

I have written so much of late I can hardly think of any thing more to say that will seem to interest you yet I know that like yours all is of interest that I find. All seem in fine spirits The news is in camp that Vicksburg is taken by our forces but nothing to confirm it & I fear there will be nothing of the kind / until there is a desperate battle fought & it may be we will be there But I doubt as our getting as far as Vicksburg as there are plenty of little jobs nearer home for us to attend to

 

We have made up a package of money to be sent home by Capt Franklin I have in my care from the privates of Co I 719 Dollars & many have sent by mail some will wait a while & send by mail after they think there is no danger of roberry We will send from our Co not less than Fifteen Hundred dollars & I think that is doing pretty well out of about 1 month & a halfs pay to the privates & 2 months to the Officers the probability is we may get 4 months more pay in March if we are where they can get to us Samuel is still on Provost Guard he has a hard cough but I think he is much better than when I come to camp I took cold some way & felt unwell last night but am better now & feel well to day only cough a little There has been 2 Captains & 2 Lieutenants resigned 1 Capt killed 1 Capt promoted to Major we understand Briscoe is to be our Major it may not be true but I think likely, so you see 6 months has reduced our line officers verry much & I think the next 6 will do more toward the reduction of officers & perhaps men. We have some now that it is as much as they can do to live they are so lazy & when it gets warmer they will rot if we do not force them out E R Sutton we can hardly get him out to drill he is well enough but tryes to shirk in evry way he can (keep secrets) a few others are as bad almost some is to be pittied for they have no power to do better

 

The wild note of the bugle sounds in the distance from the camp of the Mo 8^th Cavalry that are camped below us on the river I expect a mail to day & if I get a letter I will write a part of a sheet more if not I have written all that is necessary at this time & may be all from this place

 

So good by again to all to whom this may come & especially my own Dear Sarah                                                                                         

O Barnard

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