Prov. Nov 18^th 1862—

 

I did not know, my friend, but my wishing to see you, may have seemed very unfruitful of any thing any way valuable or interesting. I had not in truth much of any thing to say or ask. I only knew I wanted to see you, because my brother was fond of you. It was as if I would fain gather up the links of a broken chain—as if I would keep hold of every thing connected with him who had vanished from my sight.

 

I do not believe I shall ever think of him as dead / His heart could never grow cold.

 

I cannot but feel that now,

"Raying light, he stands in

            Heaven's clear day,

Girt for an onward & victorious

            way"

 

I think I knew my brother so thoroughly—faults & all—& yet he seemed to have in time the elements of so splendid a character—so bright, so [?], so noble, so unselfish—I was always waiting, for the world to know, what I believed—I suffered intensely, when he wandered because it was so unlike what he was meant to be. I am sure the influence on him of the dear Christ would have made a peerless man of him. The lion & the lamb would lie down together. He could be so fierce / & he could be so gentle.

 

But this world would always have tried him so sorely.

 

I longed for my brother's star to shine. I will be content that it shines in God's heaven.

 

And now, I shall always think of you as one who knew & loved & appreciated him & as one that my brother loved. I pray you fill worthily his place. I pray you too be a hero. Fulfill your measure as a Christian man, & brave soldier. Remember that it is the moral power that rules, never never guide them to any thing else. I think my brother's men would have resisted his strict rules, had they not known him so just. I pray you be kind to the rank & file

 

You can easily go [faded] / as their friend. You need but to remember how Christ lived among the common people. My brother would tell you it was the true Commander's life, now, more than ever, with a clearer vision.

 

My interest in you & that Regt will be so strong, I expect you to cover yesterday with glory, as with a garment. I pray you command me, if I can serve you. And the Cause, our Country, did ever man have such a country to fight for before. [?] I feel so helpless to do anything—how I wish I was a man—I could give one life. You will tell Dr Stickney, we are sure he did his best & are satisfied—& believe me truly yr friend with a very hearty God Bless you       Adalie Brown—

SOURCES