Hd. Qts. 33^rd Regt. Wis. Vol. Infty.

Camp near Vicksburg Miss.

Jan'y 8^th 1864

 

My Own Darling Annie:—

                                                We heard yesterday that we were to have a large mail to day so I thought I would not write you until it came as I thought surely there would be a letter for me. The mail came this afternoon but brought nothing but disappointment for for me so I have seated myself this evening to try and wear out the weary hours in writing once more to my darling wife. This is a sweet privilege I still have left me and one too, thank God! that no earthly power can deprive me of. If I can not be with you personally my darling / still my thoughts and affections scarcely leave you for a moment during my waking hours and often linger with you during the long silent hours of night. My health has been much better than usual for a week past and I have been trying to school myself to be patient and yield a quiet assent to the doctrine that "Whatever is is right", but think that there are some things that are not just exactly right, but submission and obedience to orders is the first, last and only virtue recognized in the Army, and as long as I am a soldier I shall feel that they are the only qualifications I need. My matters here are in about the same condition / as when I wrote you last darling I am urging them forward as fast as I can, and I do hope that I shall be able to accomplish something very soon. Still be hopeful my dear. find full confidence that something must be done before a great while. I have not written to Mother yet. I have been delaying the matter until I could form some kind of an idea of what I was going to do. Give them all my love when you write. I suppose you are having severe winter weather by this time. We have had considerable rain and a slight sprinkle of snow which only staid with us a few hours. The nights are usually rather cool and occasionally we have a cool day but nothing to / call winter. We are much more pleasantly situated in evry way than we were a year ago and could I be content to stay in the Army under any circumstances I could not expect much better fare than I have at present, but nothing can ever make me contented here. Of course I still feel a great anxiety in in regard to the final issue of this terrible war, and if I thought I could do any thing to help bring it to a close I would gladly do it, but I am conscious that I can be of no more service in the Army and want to be out of it. A year ago I felt as though I could be spared much better than thousands of others who were risking their lives for their country. Now I feel otherwise and believe that my duties and obligations to you my darling wife are paramount to all others, save those to my God. Such are my honest views of duty and so long as I entertain them I can but earnestly pray that God will soon bring me to my loved home and wife. Ever Your faithful Husband George

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