Conshohocken Sept 14 1863

 

D. To Major John C Smith

                                    Dear brother I have taken up my pen to address you again though it seames strange to me to think I have no brother to address but hereafter I must hold you in that light at least I shall always address you as sutch I can not do otherwise though I have not asked your permission I could not tell you my feelings No matter where I look I see him everywhere but the only consolation we have is that we beleave our loss is his infinate gain he is done with the troubles and trials of life and I hope is safely housed in heaven. I arrived safe at home after a wearisome journey on Saturday eavening I did not meet any of your family at Cinci though I was detained there for several hours I suppose they never got your dispach I was very sorrow I did not get to see them I took our family by surprise as they had / no dispach from me since brothers death so you may have some idea of our meeting I cant tell you about it but after the first stroke was our Mother seamed resinged to the will of the lord her friends were perfectly surprised to see how she bore up under it. as soon as she heard the particulars of his death she seemed satisfide she beleaves he has gone safe and that hope sustained her she sais the seperation will be short I hope her life may be spaired to us for if I live I very much need her councles and sympathy. My brother body did not arrive till Monday and then decomposition had gone so far that we was not permitted to see the face we so much loved to look upon in life; it was very hard to put him away without letting his wife and Mother see him but as it was and we can not help it he was interded by the side of [?] Ruth on tuesday afternoon the 8 in Montgomery County in the midst of a large concourse / of wepping relatives and friends and the respective orders of witch he was a member. I think it was the hardest trial I ever had, but I try to think it is all for the best. I will never forget the journey to Nashville and the sceanes through witch I passed I wonder how I ever stood it but the promise is my god shall be sufficient and I now feeal that his grace will allway be given when we need it if we put our trust in him. I will alway remember with gratitude the kindness of strangers as well as friends to my Dear brother as well as to me & I will always remember your kindness to me and as soon as possiable refund back to you the loan. brother I had so much trouble in Nashville that I forgot to tell you of Mr Singleton kindness to me he foward the mony to me to bring my brothers body on and I gave you as my / Securety without your permission but it will not stand long if things turn out as I expect as soon as I receive the mony from the lodge I will foward it to him and the remainder as soon as I get it we will never sease to regard him with the kindist of emotion for a friend in need is a friend in deed and we wear comparative strangers to him he did think he would come on you heard him say so but I suppose he has deferd his visit please to write there and remember us kindly to the brothers and tell them what I told you and thank them for us and when you answer this please to give them our us thear address so that I will know how to send them the mony Mother would like you to get a certifacute from the Doct at tulahoma as to the length of time that brother was sick and the nature of his disease if it was possiable for you to do so if it does not put you to too much truble the reasson we write it is that our friends say that the lodge will / have to pay him his benefits for we paid up his dues to the last weak of his life and if others received it we have the same rite let us know what you think of it. I do not wish you to think that Mr Singleton asked me for securety but I simply refered him to you. our friends think it was very strange that they discharged my brother when they knew that he was past recovery for he only got his discharge 7 days before his death it has deprived his widdow of what was justly her due but sutch is the fortune of this war they leave hundreds of widdows and helpless children without a protector and they may look to the cold world for a liveing but it has robed us of all it can get we had but one that could go and he is gone never to return and has left a sorrowful family without a protector / but we have a protector above who will watch over the widdow and orphan babe wife is in very poor health and this has bin a very hard stroke for her but she bears it with more fortitude than we thought she posessed. I wish you could see his babe she is 18 months old and I think I never saw a child look more like a parent than she looks like her papa she is his born image every one that see her thinks so but she is delicate I think she will hardly live to womanhood but she may I wish your Mother could see her I hope your family has moved by this time and are all well. give our kind love to your wife and also to your Mother family and except the same yourself please to tell lizzie to write to me again as I will be very glad to get a letter from hur I hope you will excuse this writing as I am very nervous still and could not take panes to write it as it should have bin wrote           

 

yours in friendship

Mary M.

 

Major John C Smith                                                                           

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