Yorktown Virginia

Wednesday April 6^th 1864

 

Dear Phemia

                        I received your kind and very welcome letter last Monday evening, and I have read it many times over. yet its contents is to me very interesting and I presume will have to undergo several more readings. Dear Phemia it does me so much good to learn that your health is improving. if I had unexpectedly been placed in possession of a large fortion or had alone achieved a decisive and brillient victory over the enemy, it would not have given me half the true pleasure and satisfaction that your letter afforded.

 

Your health seems to have improved very much since I was there. you were so very weak then Dear Phemia that I will now admit that I was fearful that I had received the last letter of your writing that I ever should, but it seems that you were under the watchful care of a kind Providence and O how thankful had we oughto be for his mercies. It seems I was somewhat mistakened in regard to the writing of your / former letter, as I was giving the credit of it to another. I thought the writing looked like yours, but I could not persuade myself to believe to believe that you were able to write when you had not written any in so long, and I came to the conclusion it certainly must have been written by Miss, but I am happy to learn that I was so aggreeably mistakened. You think Phemia your health is improving very slow. I am aware that it is very tiresome to be sick so long, but donot get impatient or in too much of a hurry to get well nor think yourself stronger than you are, for by so doing you are liable to impair instead of improving your health. I think you have much to encourage you. when I was at your house you could scarcely walk a step or sit up but a few minutes in the day, and your eyes were so weak that you could keep them open but a few minutes at a time. but now you can sit up and walk about your room, and I have a proof before me that your eyes are much stronger now than then. O Phemia how incourageing this looks to me, for it seems to be a good indication that you will soon be well. I am very grateful for your full letter but allow me to advise you to be very careful and not injure your health by writing too much. I will not object to long letters when you are fully able to write them, for / those are the kind I enjoy most, when they come from a Dear Friend, but til then I will be very grateful for a single line or just enough to learn the state of your health. I am obliged for your kind endeavors to furnish me with the information I requested. although the information you sent me is not altogether reliable, I dont know that exact dates will make any difference. Did you think strange of my requesting you to inform me when you were able to read your own letters. I had two motives for asking this. the first was to learn the state of your health, for this I believed would be a substantial proof that you were recovering. Secondly, I wished to refer to the private conversation we had in the library at your house. Did you think me selfish and unkind to ask such a promice as I did of you. I have thought of it many times since, and asked myself the reason why I requested such a promice of you, but I can give no reasonable answer. It was not because I was distrustful of you, nor through fear that you would ever act the part of a coquette by bestowing your love and hand on another, for if I was aware that you loved another better than myself and he loved you and was worthy of you, I would advise you as I would a much loved sister, to place your hand and heart together, although the world would be a desart, and life a dreary blank to me, after / the last ray of hope for your society had expired. it would nevertheless be the most sure way to promote your happiness, which is more to me than the gratification of my own. Nor would I look upon the favored one as a hated rival, but I would ever invoke the blessings of Heaven upon both, and my most earnest prayer should be that he would love you as purely and devotedly as I do. Therefore as there is no good reason why such a promice should exist, I will release you from it, and if it is the will of Heaven that I should return from the army and be so fortionate as to win the full confidence and hand of my little Queen, let it be given freely, without a regret, or an untimely promice or pledge to mar her peace of mind. I shall improve the privlage you gave me in regard to the book I have of yours, by keeping it a while longer. there is some pieces in it that I like so well that I have read them over many times, and I think that some of them could well be taken for the maxims of life. I am detached from the company at present and doing duty in the Engineer department. my duties here are more than they were in the company, as I am on duty every pleasant day in the week, but I have no duty to do in bad weather, nights or Sundays, and but few of us are quartered together which makes our quarters much more quiet than they otherwise could be, and also seems more like living at home, and as I am near the company where I can see all its members every day, I feel quite well pleased with the change.

 

Charlie and the Hopewell members of the company are well, and it seems that military life has become second nature to the most of us, so that we neither get homesick nor discouraged at the long continuance of the war. I hope you may have a pleasant visit with your friends in Broome C^o and I most earnestly hope the journey may prove a benefit to you. Please remember me to your parents and Miss and accept my love and gratitude for your kind wishes. I will endeavor to write oftener to you and I shall be glad to hear from you as often as convenient without taxing your health, time and patience too severely for a letter from you always dispells the dullness of camp life and to me makes every thing look more cheerful. This leaves me in good health and hoping it may find you much better and rapidly improving. I will subscribe myself

 

Your Sincere and affectionate Friend            

Russel F. Wright

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