Handsboro June 13^th 1864

 

Mine Own Irwin

                        Just to think of our terrible suspense while we know you have been engaged in a contest of life & death! yet oh!horrors the mail must fail not even a paper since the 5^th. but I'll try to comfort myself with the old adage "no news is good news", for ill news certainly travels much faster. What would you rather have now than any-thing else? a kiss^(?) I am sorry to say I have been eating onions so mine would scarcely be acceptable. "Sis" has too, but maybe the distance & the irregularities of the mail will give it sufficient time to purify & as I would prefer above all things a kiss from your lips, an embrace from your arms, & assurances of love from your heart, I will send you any quantity of each knowing the return will not be looked for in rain. If I had a string around the mail riders little finger or attached to his heart the mail would be forthcoming at the proper time & 'tis well / for him that I am in no manner connected with his fate. How much pleasure it would give me to know exactly where you are this evening & to know what you are doing. I hope you are rested & not hungry. Oh! if I only knew you were reading one of my letters or writing to me. No one can imagine the disappointment I feel when you say "I am expecting letters daily" "Jennie you are neglecting me sadly" & other sentences equally full of reproach. Why do you not judge me by yourself Irwin. I wrote you on the 11^th 13^th 17^th (23^rd by Maj. Pullen) 24^th & 27^th ultimo. 6^th - 9^th & am writing on the 13^th June. There are nine letters. I have received six: you had only two of my letters up to the 26^th May. I am sorry, & can truly sympathize with you but 'tis no fault of mine Ishould have written regularly twice a week but was uncertain where to address you so no more complaints, an thou lovest me, about the frequency of my epistles which must certainly make up for the length though not the substance. Have you finished reading the last letter yet. I must admit that I felt some hesitancy in commencing another letter before you had had time to finish deciphering the last unending scroll, but really I / must find have some consolation & I know best where to find the kind I need. 'tis almost the only source I have left. if my letters afford half the pleasure yours do I could write all the time. Frank Taylor is making the air resound with that most unearthly noise "ooh! ah! ooh! ah! hoo". on one side of the house & on the other some one is screaming "Right in the middle of a bomb shell ah!" every child & negro in Handsboro know both & to a person of very sensitive nerves (like myself) our delightful little town sounds like a bedlam. Iam wedded to this modern Gomorrah & do not I beg of you think I would (not) willingly spend the remainder of my days any where else. The girls are waiting for me to go bathing & as the tide is rapidly falling I must go, will conclude this tomorrow if the aligators dont catch me they are very numerous now & more sassy than ever. I suppose it is contagious I know I am growing very impudent even to you. Good bye till tomorrow.

 

            Fearing something may interrupt my writing as I expected to morrow & as it is raining hard enough to prevent our visiting Miss Mollie H— this evening I will write now until dark. we are having rain in abundance now / corn & "grass" are flourishing. I sent my poney over to the "Old Mill" after my trip to Ocean Springs as I hurt his back with the saddle & my affection for him is too strong to allow me to be an unmoved spectator of his wounds. shall send for him the first or latter part of next week. Does Bones ever get honoured now or are you compenned to foot it. I wish I could assist you on your long marches. when you come home again I'll save you every step I possibly can & not impose on your good nature oftener than once a day. I would not be surprised if I had to use crutches ere long my feet are growing very unwieldy. one more than the other. For a long time I jested about a cancer under the bottom of my foot, a small red spot which at times was rather painful. it has increased very much lately & I have to keep it off the floor almost entirely except when walking which I assure you I do as little of as possible. The Dr relieved my mind greatly by telling me that I was too young to have cancer & that it must be a wart. I am very glad to think 'tis nothing worse. Iasked him for some caustic to burn it with but / he insists on examining it before prescribing which I am very much averse to consenting I told him to add some ten or fifteen years to his age & I would be willing. he seems to think I mean take so many years off or put his wife out of the way. This is the same physician who prescribed a coat sleeve with an arm in it for sore throat. Dont be surprised if we leave the state together. if we do 'twill be for Mobile you may meet me there & have me arrested for breach of promise.

 

            The supper-bell interrupted me last night and I think it was very well. I write bad enough in good light but am certainly no efficient in scribbling in the dark. How I do wish Aunt Mary would come home I never had such a time in my life trying to keep a house in order. the children are much worse than they ever were. I have been tempted more than once to try a little of my physical strength on Rachael but as her mother never does I suppose I must not. I have fallen off ten pounds lately, you would scarcely know me. Have you plenty of fruit? peaches will be ripe here in about ten or twelve days I wish I could send you some. Mother says she is / going to send for me when that barrel of sugar comes of which she is to make preserves for the regiment so I think you must get leave to bring it & help peel the fruit. wouldn't that be pleasant? Handsboro has had you court martialed & cashiered for remaining to the pic-nic. why did you not write it & not let us be dependent on the benevolent of this town for all the information respecting your change of fortune. I of course feel deeply "grieved" at the want of confidence displayed by you. Well private or Lieut. you are the same to me & nothing can ever erase your image from my heart. I have been told that not content with having one in chains in Fort Morgan I must inveigle another & throw him into the hands of the Yankees but did not understand what they meant until told that you had been court-martialed

 

            They give me credit for more influence than I imagined I could exert. I ought to be very careful what I say since 'tis written down on the memory of every one never to be effaced. I dreamed of seeing one of my friends last night but laid out, of course dead & woke up to find myself lying as strait & stiff as a corpse with my hands folded & the sheet over my face. I was so startled I had to jump up in the middle of the floor to see if in reality my spirit had flown. Was not this singular 

 

But I have trespassed on your time & Sis's good nature long enough. Please write soon & remember that you promised to write long letters & frequent. My patience will be quite exhausted if the mail does not come tomorrow. You ought to be near & hear me emphasize if it does not. Give my love to Sister Lizzie when you write & tell her I shall expect a call from her when I go to Mobile. May the God of battles protect you, give victory to our arms & let peace once again smile on our land. Many kisses & all my love for Irwin from

                                   

His own

Jennie

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