Handsboro June 17^th 1864

 

Dearest Irwin

                        Another one of your dear letters came in the last mail & various emotions are called awaked in my bosom every time I read it. "Sis" cried nearly all the evening from disappointment she was almost certain she would receive a letter from you by the last mail & I must admit that were I in her place you would be soundly rated for your seeming neglect. she is going to punish you by not writing to you but I would write you such cruel letters you would have to write in self defense. See the difference!

 

                        I am glad Col. Hunter has behaved so gallantly as to deserve your acknowledgements I knew you would tell him what you did before I saw it in black & white. I have the utmost confidence in your doing what you think is right & by the way do you think it proper for an engaged person to make promises of correspondence with a single person of the opposite sex especially on a short acquaintance as it seems is the case in an instance I might mention? Is it treating either the betrothed or the / person with whom he or she may wish to correspond with due consideration? I know you will say Jennie you are growing jealous^(?) ask yourself Irwin whether I have cause to be or not. No, I am not savaged by the green eyed monster. this does not prevent my seeing things in their true light.

 

                        I consider myself your wife & shall act as I think a wife ought to, if I am not to be your wife then I will continue Miss McBean for to none other could I make the vows of allegiance & love necessary for happiness. in you I have centered everything connected with earth & my weal or woe rests with you. Miss Annie Ford may regard you as an unengaged man & certainly did else she would not have promised to accept your letters: is this not almost deceiving her; she is not a girl if she is not attracted by your many charms & I plead for her not for myself. If you can love another and be happy with her, then I will not open my lips to reproach you but will spend my life praying for your happiness & shall be content.

 

                        I have read you quite a sermon on propriety Irwin & expect you are thoroughly angry / with me but I have done my duty. If this should prevent your full confidence in me how bitterly shall I regret saying what I have. perhaps you say 'Jennie must be a fool to think I will be trammeled by any promises I have made to her when out of her reach' I intend to flirt with the girls as much as ever". this will do for a short time Irwin but I know your own sense of honour will show you that I am right. I know your heart well enough to know that however the bee may wander 'twill return home at last.

 

                        So you are an Aid de camp how do you like the situation? I hope your new duties will not always be so pressing as they were when you wrote on the 29^th. I shall send an express to Col. Hunter demanding a few minutes of your precious time & requesting him to see that you employ them in writing longer letters to some person in Handsboro. 'twill not be necessary to tell him who for I know you write to only me. Sis was quite sick yesterday from eating to many plums & berries is much better today but quite weak. She told Mollie yesterday that I was a splendid nurse. be careful how you / rid yourself of the services. I have just read your letter again & see that you said "I am to visit her when this fight is over" I read it write so my mountain brought forth a mouse, forgive me Irwin for the unpleasant feeling I may have aroused I would not send this but I have no time to write another. Kiss me please Irwin & tell me you are not angry with me. My heart feels as light as a bird now the leaden weight has been removed.

 

                        I am truly grateful to know that Mr. Gostenhoffer was uninjured he seems to be a pleasant gentlemanly person & I should be sorry to learn that the Yankee friends had found a hiding place for their missals of death in his bosom

 

            God grant that my soldier brave may find some friendly blanket to protect him from their uncharitable salutations. I will have to persuade some one to curse Sherman for me if he does not let the mail alone. I wish the southern boys may catch him if he dares to molest this on its way to you. Love to Willie from 'Sis' & myself. many many kisses & all imaginable quantities of love for yourself from

                                                                       

Yours devotedly Jennie

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