Handsboro June 23^rd 1864

 

Dearest Irwin

                        You may imagine my disappointment yesterday when no letter came for me but I will try to be content as "Sis" received one letter yesterday not of a later date than my three [paper hole] Irwin for your continual thoughtfulness [paper hole] even in her (Sis) letters. Many thanks [paper hole] most however much our [paper hole] one from your dear lips they are sweet from her

 

                        There is nothing comparatively speaking in our latest papers (19^th) save accounts of Forests feats of valour. It is really refreshing to read a paper without accounts of slaughter & bloodshed from commencement to finis. Oh! if it were possible to end this unholy strife without dessecrating our land with more / of the invaders polluted life current, or washing the stains out with the brave & veteran soldier's pure hot blood. I was interrupted this morning by a knock at the front door & being uncertain who it might be called a negro girl & told her to see who it was & lo! behold! Mrs. Meyers in gala attire of course we all enjoyed the laugh at her ceremonious [paper hole] a couple of hours & by way of diversion [paper hole] ward. we went to Mrs Bradfords bath [paper hole] was very high but as I am so [paper hole] Mrs. Meyers thought I was jesting & plunged in when to her utter amazement the water was nearly a foot over her head after many lunges I found she could not swim as well as she seemed to think I caught her arm & pulled her to a seating board. she has recovered the effects of this shock & came back to spend the day with Sis & myself. And Oh! horrible to relate Mrs. Dodge & all her children met / us at the door with "We thought you & Miss Anola must be lonesome & would like to have us spend the day". Being passionately fond of ungoverned children^(?) I was delighted at the small addition & submitted with a tolerably good grace. Mrs. Meyers got tired of the noise & left soon after dinner (if the substantial fare nowadays may be dignified by the name) Mrs. D. has gone over to Mrs. Buse's & I expect to be away when she comes back. I shall certainly not insist on her remaining to tea.

 

                        I would [paper hole] Aunt Mary at home were it not that Sis insists on leaving as soon as she comes. I ask if she is home sick she says not but that another needs her at home. Wonderfully industrious isn/t she? I know you are tired trying to read this all ready Did you ever see such ink? I scarcely know which is worst pen, ink, paper or writer but none are worthy an apology for I shall not make any. 

 

Friday Morning.

                        Yesterday was nothing but continual interruptions & today promises to be no better 'tis now ten o'clock & the letter must be sent to the office by twelve. Tis unmercifully warm to day how you must suffer in camp or riding & running all day such weather as we are having must be second only to fighting. Plenty of peaches now in H—. how I would like to let a basketful down on your dinner table to day could you eat them?

 

                        I woke up Tuesday with very painful sensations in my head which increased so by noon I could not open my eyes more than a second at a time Went in to dinner though, prepared to dine very heartily but the second attempt sent me from the table howling like (well you may imagine what)—I never suffered half so much before with neuralgia. my face that evening was just twice as broad as long & if you could have seen me then you certainly would have thought me / fooling you about growing thinner. I have now gained the medium size again, and I hope never to suffer in that way more.

 

                        I believe my cranium has a large vacum in it this morning I can't think of any thing I wanted to tell you. I was dreaming all night last night & as I was with you nearly all the time I suppose I gave you all the news. We were both in Ocean Springs & there were many others there too. You did not look at me all day & never spoke at all. the company you gallanted to the gate; came back picked up your cap & started off I went out on the back piazza & started towards the orchard; heard a step behind me & flew with the rapidity of lightning over the yard & was about to scale a fence when you caught me. you seemed highly elated at your successful race & was very anxious to know what was the matter with me I was very much hurt at your neglect during the day / & you had some trouble trying to appease my anger. However you kissed me & we went into the house had a long talk & some one hailed at the lot gate "Bob" went to open it as he supposed for a stranger but Col. Kendall came in he seemed to know all about our betrothal kissed me & said he could not censure you as he had intended doing and we all spent a delightful evening. Rather a strange dream was it not? I do not expect I could control myself were I to see you coming. every time I leave the house I come in & look all over the rooms expecting to find you stowed away in some sly corner. thus I am continually preparing myself for disappointments. Mrs Meyers gave me some advice yesterday sent by the Captain. "Tell Miss Jennie that I say not to marry until the war is over. the Yankee girls say they will not marry until the South is subjugated & the mottoe with our girls should be "I'll stay single till we're free" / I send word that if the bravery displayed by Miller's cavalry would equal Morgan's & Forrest's men I would not have long to wait & thought I could safely say "I'll wait if I don't change my mind".

 

                        You say you get angry when no letter comes from me. will you be so kind as to inform me who you find fault with. I would not have thought you guilty of unnecessary ill will against any one I write twice every week our only mail days & have sent one or two to Mobile by hand. letters sent from here are about ten days on their way to Mobile and this accounts for the irregularity. But what is the use of getting anoied. I'll give you two good rules which if followed will spare you many moments of anger. Never get angry at what can be helped but go to work & rectify the errors.

 

                        Never get angry at what cannot be helped for that is making bad worse. What do you think of them try them for one week & I'll do the same. Commence on / the 11^th July & we will work together. do not forget & if you get angry you must tell me what occasioned your ill will We can assist each other wonderfully. I have tried these rules before with my school mates & during the time it seemed that more of the evil spirit was in my heart than ever before. I suppose I could perceive it more plainly because I kept such strict watch over my thoughts.

 

            I sent word to Miss Shepherd by Sis that I would love her very much if she would let me would be delighted to receive a note from her & would take much pleasure in writing to her. In return for my love she sends love & a cool, no I thank, you for the correspondence. I'm very much obliged to her I assure you. She did not say no, in plain english but beat around the bush to come to the same thing. "If she will will write first I'll answer the letter". This to me was sufficient 'tis not necessary to knock me down with a hint. But what am I doing writing to you of /

 

[margins]

 

your Dear Sister Lizzie. Excuse me Irwin but I am so used to writing exactly as I think that I forgot you might feel offended.

 

I believe Sis is writing to you & as I know her letter will be so much more interesting than this miserable scribbling I must stop & / give you time to peruse her dear letter.

 

I feel unusually dull to day & I expect you wish I had not sent you any letter rather than bother you with such as this. God bless you dearest & keep His arm around to support, protect, & strengthen. My best love & all of it with many, many kisses.

                                                                                               

Yours devotedly

Jennie.

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