Handsboro July 17^th 1864.

 

My Dearest Irwin

                        Yesterday's mail brought me your letters of 6^th & 7^th July with some music mailed on the 9^th but as you will not let me say "thank you" I'll bless you instead. I tried them both last evening in the midst of a thunder storm & am much pleased with the selections I could only guess how they will sound on a good piano my tin pan or kettle drum spoils everything I like & of course as I wish to like the pieces they will have to wait till I commence my regular practice on Mr. Taylor's instrument in other words when I return from Mobile. "Sis" contemplates the pleasure trip as one would a whipping but as I have roughed it so long 'twill be no rarity to me. we very much dread the addition of a spoilt child & worse mother, father & uncle to our select party. Oh! how I do hope they can't get off. I dont suppose we will leave till Tuesday or Wednesday. hope not, for the recent heavy rains have made the / roads almost impassable but go I must. "Consolation"? really my darling if I knew how to console any one you would not be in that miserable hospital another day. Would to God I could come to you in person maybe that would in some measure restore your spirits & temper but remember you once told me you would not recognize your wife if she had so little sense as to go to camps & how could your sweet heart hope to meet with a welcome in a hospital. thank your own exacting nature for not having me as your nurse & not my consideration for what the Mrs. Grundys might say. I had almost determined to go & apply for lodgings near enough to know how my darling was but you were not going to stay there long enough for that not another day if you could get your clothes. I should think you would rather have a change of clean clothes than anything else but I must say your desires are confined within the smallest limit I ever suspected it possible for human beings to compress anything. only one thing wanting, the photograph! not even the original would compensate for that. well you shall have it as soon as possible, the / tobacco pouch too will be sent from Mobile. No dearest I am not in a great state of excitement on your account for you say you are not seriously ill & I have never had cause to disbelieve you yet & why should I now when my wishes accord so heartily with the assertion. At first I felt alarmed however with the letters from St. Mary's Hospital came the news of your being at home & I naturally enough supposed you either very sick, or seriously wounded, & had one good cry in Aunt Mary's arms but reason finally convinced me that you could not be at home & "Sis" not say any thing about it in her letter to me so I quited my pain & have not made myself wretched knowing that you would not be afraid to tell me the truth even if you were dangerously ill. a soldier's sweet heart must have strong nerves & thank your lucky stars your darling is not wanting in this particular. were she your wife instead nothing would keep her from your bedside but God as you say does all things for the best & we must await his pleasure. Do I think of you as often as you do of me? / I'd much rather answer that with a kiss. did you know you were a very cunning somebody? Yes twice as often for I never think of anything else even when turning in prayer to God every petition ends with your name ask your own heart whether you are thought of or not. "Don't I think you are a dear darling fellow"? really, you say I was fishing for a compliment but if that is not casting a net or hauling a sieve tell me what it is? but as the poor fish seldom escape, the compliment must be forthcoming. I have often said you were the best person in the world & if you have faults I love you for them. 'tis not in human nature to love a piece of perfection we rather stand in awe of them & not being different from the rest of my species of course I love something or body not too good to enjoy a good laugh occasionally. I do not say you write oftener than I deserve if love can in any measure repay for the brief notes you send, the account is settled for many years ahead on my side but I hope there will be no necessity for writing much longer / as I had ten thousand times ten thousand rather be by your side & have a kiss asked for than to have you writing for long letters photographs "and all these sorter things". I met you in spirit three nights ago on the front steps. I had taken a pillow & put it one side & made a very comfortable couch of the steps next a shank & went to sleep as I tried to imagine in your arms [?] that you wanted to put your arm under my head & so make me more comfortable & awoke with my head raised just about far enough for the dear support but alas! [paper hole] met my longing gaze when I searched for the features of thy dear face rather a singular dream was it not? We went to Biloxi yesterday after "Sis" & I certainly expected to see you too & consequently only wrote a short letter which I carried with me to send to the post office in O.S. if you were not with her it seems that one Lieut. Kendall did come but not mine, to the Springs I mean. all were well at home, Googie / had been sick with fever but had recovered. Sis had just received two letters from brother & was in consequence very lively. we carried lunch & none of us got "hungry" (such miserable ink as this could not be found any other place I don't believe). Aunt has just received a sack of flour & I tell you my darling we are going to live on biscuits & butter one little while. come over & spend one week with us now. plenty of peaches, flour, milk & butter by the way could you dine with us today we are going to luxuriate on peach cobler. Are you fond of it? I'll keep a plate full waiting till after dark if you don't come to dinner. How much I wish you would come but 'twere folly to hope for it till the present crisis is over. As to the manner of writing my name where there is a Miss before it I intend to change my name entirely when I marry as I dont know how you will manage to address me but I suppose I'll always be Miss Jennie. It seems foolish the Miss but I'm so accustomed to putting it before Jennie it / slips off my pen before I can catch it. What! Laura can't write a single letter without giving Jennie a lecture! I do not think I was quite so bad as that. Do you know that you are very exacting my love & that your request is one of unheard of—I came very near saying impudence—strangeness, a most unusual one & one with which I do not know how to comply. How in the name of common sense can I know what my plans for the future are unless you tell me if you have not time to write an elaborate description of them give the outlines of the sketch & I'll try to fill them up & when completed will send on to head quarters for their originator's approval. now let me implore you not to be stubborn meet me half way & I'll try [?] enough to agree or disagree whenever I see proper Come now be Jennie's dear obliging Irwin & not the exacting, quarrelsome fellow you wrote about in one of your last letters. I'll tell you / what you may expect to have to do when you come after me. lay in a good supply of leather for I'm a terrible hard on shoes: the shoe maker at Ocean Springs on the receipt of an order for shoes explained "Mine Got I never saw such a foot". I expect he was pitying the poor fellow that had to keep it shod from the bottom of his heart. Pa used to say I not only had a very reckless foot but a perfect buster you had best be careful how you get your head as near my feet as you did the night we [paper hole] off Biloxi. do you remember it? I do kick sometimes. especially when a [?] comes about. "well sir" (dinner is ready—good bye) my parrot is missing today & do you blame me for wishing all the cats at the bottom of the red sea 'twas the only pet, not human, I ever loved and now to know it [?] dead is it not heart rending. but I have not despaired of finding / it yet if indeed 'tis gone woe be to the unfortunate kitten that comes in reach of my wonderful understanding. If you stay in Montgomery long enough more than likely you'll see Jennie & Sis coming up. we will telegraph from Mobile & if still there look out for us. I'll not wait for an invitation I assure you. Maybe I will go to Hillsboro N.C. before this summer is over I have not heard from there in such a long time. I very much fear some of my best & dearest friends have found their last resting place. Irwin darling you try to insinuate that I am not willing to correct your errors & say you believe Sister Lizzie & myself would spoil you so much are we afraid of offending you not so dearest, but the mistakes I notice are so evidently those of haste or carelessness I know it would be useless for me to tell you of them. beside I know my letters are full of them & I would indeed be very silly to attempt to correct / in yours what I cannot in my own. but don't think that you make so few I could afford to write them all. I'm saving all your letters & when you come I'll show you that they were not passed over with a careless eye. ask Lizzie if she does not reason in the same way. but if she undertook to write you how many mistakes yours contained twould not be a very interesting letter now Irwin I hope you are satisfied you have been soliciting corrections so long I think you deserve to be critisized without mercy, but not being able to critisize you myself shall deputize your better judgement. come dearest kiss me & believe me when I say I'm not afraid of you. I love you far too well for fear. I believe your love for me will prevent your taking umbrage at an unintentional offense which of course mine would be. "Sis" fancied I treated her very coolly this morning & I believe was actually crying about some foolish remark of mine. I had a severe spell of toothache & neuralgia together & / of course was not quite so talkative as usual. I had to spend most of the day here in your room because of the noise below stairs. no one knew that I was suffering though & 'twas very natural she should think me very careless as regarded the comfort of a guest but she has forgiven me now & promised not to doubt my love again. "Monday morning" Forgive you? you know you have but to ask it & of course it is granted. Sis & I kiss each other every day for one darling. now don't think I'll elbow you to kiss any other girl for me no sir as that's out of the question. what would I not give for one of those dear long kisses you speak of 'twould be bliss without measure to know this cruel war ended and you safely by my side. "How many letters have I received? eighteen & have written exactly the same number with this one. now dont think from this that I have waited for your letters I have written every opportunity and will continue to do so. really darling I believe of the two set of letters my pages would amount to the most. you have / only written about six long enough to be dignified by the name of letter but I know you are hurried; and try not to compalin more than I think necessary to let you know that I do think them very short but (when you are not scolding) they are as sweet as kisses. Well Irwin the cruel word must come I have nearly numberless little things to do today and we start for Mobile tomorrow but continue to write to Handsboro for we will have returned when this reaches you. I am going to keep a diary on the road for your especial benefit. Good bye dearest give me a very sweet kiss now ten thousand in the package for you from all but most from me.

                                                                                   

Yours devotedly

Jennie

 

P.S. I don't say any thing about "Buster" because I know nothing & I suppose you know that don't you. Miss Mollie is well but I have not seen her to deliver your message. lovingly yours Jennie

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