Handsboro Miss         

July 21^fst 1864

 

My Dearest Brother

                                    I was made very happy by the receipt on Saturday last of three letters dated 22^ond of June & 1^fst & 6^th of July & should have replied ere this but could not collect ideas sufficient to write as I wished. I have written but as the letter did not suit me it was destroyed. I do not feel well this evening & consequently feel little disposed to write as I could wish to my dear Brother, but as I am uncertain as to where I shall be next mail day I will make the attempt.

 

                                    Brother in spite of you protestation that you are or were only a little sick I cannot / persuade myself to think so. I knew that you have ere this been sick & you have even admitted that you were very sick & yet you never left the field or camp and now for a much lighter illness (you say) you are in a hospital. perhaps you may think me foolish but I judge from the past & were you in my place you would draw the same conclusion that I have.

 

                                    Oh! my Brother you could not have known how much pain you were inflicting by every word written in your letter of the 1^fst & yet I must confess you were half right in writing it for whenever I in future doubt my Brother I will read that letter. You know that I have not ceased to love you my love for you is a part of my life & being & with my life only will my love cease to be one of the first objects of that life / I certainly do expect you to write often but not as often as to Jennie neither have I neglected the rule laid down by the which correspondants are governed. I have written you at least once a week but as I received no letters of course I considered that my letters were less welcome than formerly & did not write again untill I received a letter and that a very short one. You will kill me by doubting me indeed you will. I am not jelous of Jennie God knows I love her too well to be jelous of her. She is all I could wish for for your wife and this you know is saying a great deal for you are my hearts idol & ever shall be unless there be one other just like you. I have received attentions & protestations of love from gentlemen & have even fancied it were possible for me to return their love untill fortune brought them in contrast with you & Oh the / contrast would be so great that all thoughts of love would vanish & you reighn prominant in my heart. Still I know you do not love me thus nor do I ask or even expect you to, but having always been in the habit of considering myself first in your thoughts as well as in your heart was it not a natural feeling that which caused me to feel neglected & which you call jelousy. I deny that such a feeling ever entered my bosom. in connection with Jennie, I do not believe that true & pure love can exhist in the same heart wherein jelousy is an inmate & I beg nay I implore you not to think much less tell me that I am jelous of your love for Jennie. I know that your heart is larger than mine & therefore can have room for two at least without there being a just cause for quarreling. Dont you think so?

 

You ask! how Jennie & I get along. Splendidly. here let me give you a thousand kisses for give / ing me such a dear Sister, and as to fights I cant begin to count them, but as we fight principaly with water there are no bruises for either to show & boast of 'who whips' ah that is the question Both claim the victory. Aunt Mary says we are a good match. Jennie quarrels with me sometimes for not talking & then again for talking too much & you know me well enough to know that I do not submit quietly to be imposed upon. Oh I must tell you a joke we have on Jennie. last Sunday her parrot was missing & she after looking for & calling Polly in every conceivable place came into the house & threw herself down on the stair steps & consigning all the cats to perdition thus lamented "I never loved anything but Polly it was always thus with all I love something sure to happen to it & seeing me smile tried to better it by saying any liveing thing I mean. I had rather have lost / a ball & seeing that she only made matters worse by explaining ran upstairs Soon after Polly woke up & made a noise & Jennies eyes sparkeled with joy but ever since Mrs H & I tease her a good deal by telling her we are going to kill Poll as it is the only "Liveing thing" that she loves.

 

But here I have been running on & you all this time wondering what "Sis" is doing in Handsboro so long well I have been home & stayed two weeks & came here on Saturday last to go with Jennie to Mobile but we were disappointed in going as we expected & are now awaiting a good opportunity but for the necessity of Jennies going to have her teeth operated upon & she will require a companion I should not wait for the opportunity but return home.

 

My Dear Brother if prayers will obtain for you the desired furlough you / will certainly get it & be at home ere fruit time is over. I never cut fruit of any kind without thinking of you and wishing you here to share with me. we had a half of a watermelon just now & Jennie proposed sending you a piece of course I assented. Laura says give Willie her love & best respects doubled & twisted. I must close is this a good begining, do you think it equivalent to yours? my fingers ache tender my kind regards & good wishes to L^t Jeter & Major Pullen Accept my darling brother a heart full to overflowing of love & a bushel of kisses from Your Affectionate little

"Sis"

 

PS Write Soon very soon

 

[overleaf]

 

Lieut J. Irwin Kendall

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