Handsboro July 25^th 1864.     

 

Dearest Irwin

                        From not receiving a letter by the last mail I of course conclude you are again in the front: this did not prevent my being greatly disappointed. I wish you could see me on mail days you would never doubt my love & anxiety again. every few minutes I look at the watch & until tis time to send am the most restless creature imaginable nothing occupies my attention more than five minutes, sometimes knit, read, sew, but much oftener walk about, half past eleven at last comes "Delph, it is time to go to the office make haste back now & be sure to ask for me". "Yes m'm (said "I wish whoever it is writing to my mistress would bring his own letters".) Now is the time of suspense I wonder whether I'm to be disappointed or not. No, here she comes with one letter at least now who is it for? I can't wait till she gets here but will go meet her. Oh! its in the loved one's hand-writing & kisses unnumbered are showered on the envelope & tears of joy are overflowing the portals of my soul. this is the pleasant & bright side shall I portray the darker? "Plague take the mails I wish somebody would kick up a fuss with the delinquents whoever it may be that causes this irregularity. Aunt are there any casualties in Regts we feel interested in. I have no heart to read the papers aloud but I suppose I might as well". Now darling this is an every day thing with the home folks & they are getting used to them it but the frequency does not lessen the poignancy with me. You found a host of letters awaiting you in camp did you not? I dont believe you have finished reading them yet. I wished many times you had received them while in the hospital for (judging you by myself) it must have been quite a trial to your patience to be deprived of the "exquisite pleasure" of hearing from your humble better half. I hope you have recovered entirely ere this and will have written me many of the promised long letters I shall not try to live another week if the next mail does not bring the expected package so beware! never mind old meanness you had better write long letters if you hope for them in return. What reason / have you to think I ought to write letters to you twice as long as you do to me? I know, you say "Jennie has nothing else to do & she loves me so well she would neglect other duties to give me a few minutes pleasure" You guess right my love every thing would be thrown aside if by so doing I could make your duties lighter & chase the care from your dear brow you know this though & there is no necessity for reassuring you of the fact. "Sis", Mrs. Burr, Sarah & Allie Burr, Mrs Bingham, Orie Dodge, Laura, Rachael Sammy & myself went floundering Friday night but of course the boys grumbled about our being so scary. wished we were in Halifax &c. but all to no effect for there we were and intended to stay till we were tired out. we caught crabs enough for a roast & had a delightful time. 'twas almost equal to sailing or rather lying at anchor all night. Oh! how you would have enjoyed the spectacle (had you not known the parties) 'twas a grand sight, and a desperate remedy for neuralgia. I have suffered but little since except with toothache. by the way, Miss Nellie H. waits with patience for your company on one of the crabbing excursions. Miss Dodge, Aunt Mary Sis & I have just returned from the old place where we feasted on figs, peaches, plums, apples & watermelons. the only drawback to our pleasure was the absense of a certain individual. Oh! Irwin how much you are missed. I sometimes think I cannot stand the seperation but I know I must. Our country needs you & beside I expect soon to be established as "school-marm" in Lawrence Co. I'm only waiting to hear from you on the subject I hope 'twill meet with your approbation every one here opposes the thought almost with violence. I have been thinking of it for some time and believe 'tis my duty to go. God only knows whether I can stand the sedentary life. I will be compelled to lead, but I have had superior advantages & by hard study I think I could manage a small school very well & as "Idleness is the rust of the mind" my intellect must be wearing away very fast. Come dearest let me have your consent & the labor will be comparatively easy. Aunt is almost indignant at the idea & the children say I shall not go but I know it was a pet plan of my fathers to make me a good & reliable instructress of youth & feel that I ought to carry it out as far as possible. But you are the one now to say whether I shall or shall not go. I don't know though how I shall bear the irregularities of the mail. this will be the only drawback if you grant me permission. You see I'm learning how to ask your consent. does it not make you feel your / importance. but I'll either teach school or go to Alabama on a visit ("Talladega County".) Mr. Brown is very anxious to have me come and as his is a very pleasant family & particular friends of my fathers I think I shall go there if you object to my teaching. Well dearest, how did you like the "tobacco pouch". does it answer your purpose or must I make another if so write some explicit directions & I'll try to suit you. remember you told me you were a very fastidious youth & 'twas with much concern I saw your request. I was almost afraid to attempt it but you now know that I'm willing to oblige you. how did you enjoy our sail? was it a pleasing variety in your monotonous routine? 26^th July I took a long ride this morning by myself to try & engage passage to Mobile in a mule-team wagon but did not prove successful. however this evening brings me word to be ready for the balloon bright & early in the morning so this will be completed in Mobile or on the way perhaps with pencil. you must excuse me if it is. excuse foolscap also but my eyes are too weak to bear the white paper yet. Good bye my darling. how long it will seem till we meet again in spirit. six days have already passed since I received a letter & at least thirteen more will have to pass ere we can hope to hear direct from you. thousands of kisses & all the love I possess for your own sweet self dearest. 27^th July—now where do you suppose we are? you could not guess in a year but you will know when I say I'm upstairs in your room ensconsed in a large rocking chair to a table. yes love actually in Handsboro yet. there was no room for two in the wagon & of course I was not going without a female companion ("I'm so much afraid of men") especially when said companion was "Sis". By the way Irwin what a sweet little "Sis" you have. I have learned to love her very very much. I don't know how you managed to fall in love with me when you had the model of perfection in your family but I'm not going to disparage myself by comparison & only intend to tell you the plain unvarnished truth. My life has been a series of almost unlimited pleasures & disappointments 'tis a chequered scene but on the whole not disagreeable I was born in poverty & reared in luxurious extravagance my father's sole aim being to leave me independent of a worlds favor not only intellectually but pecuniarily. his life was cheerfully sacrificed for my sake. indeed the only thing he seemed anxious to live for was to see me happily married & when I promised never knowingly to marry a slave to the demon alcohol he was perfectly content. I need scarcely say that many losses have been sustained by the estate since the war though if God favors us we may live at present. I never borrow trouble. /

 

Irwin darling I've just received your sweet letter of the 12^th inst. and bless you for your flattering opinion of your Jennie. As you say "Forewarned forearmed" when I go to Mobile I shall prepare for the battery of Sister Lizzie's criticism. I have a little confidence in self & with the assurance that "I am just what you would have me" for a support you need not fear for the influence of a third visit. I have been told by many that my only chasm consisted in "bearing acquaintance" & if I have, with your assistance, been able to counteract Sis' first impression surely as the betrothed of her brother (especially as her expectations have not been exalted by your encomiums) I may hope for at least a kindly reception. For your sake dearest I feel anxious that she should be satisfied. I can't put on though, but must act my plain self & nothing more.

 

You spoke of your family troubles & take it for granted that I know all about them. however as all have been equally uncommunicative on the subject I know but very little & this little from hearsay. I have always felt a delicacy in broaching the subject to you as I have been told that 'twas very deeply painful to you. I know that your father disappeared in a very mysterious manner & have heard many conjectures (derogatory to him) as to his whereabouts—and that the family knows no more about it than we do. In your letters home (which I have been permitted to read) you sympathize with them in their trials & direct them to a Mr. May (I believe) for relief but beyond this I know nothing. Do not fear me dearest I am yours & certainly should have the privilege of consoling you if 'tis in my power. would to God that we were one indeed then I know you would trust me. Is it in my power to alleviate their sufferings. tell me dearest, come now let me chase that frown from your dear face with a kiss my arms are resting on your shoulders while yours are around my waist I'm going to kiss you till you smile. there now don't you frown that way again why you'll give me convulsions (of laughter). but I must go to the beach this evening to see if Mr L.L. Davis won't carry us to Mobile. I'll let you know the success of the expedition this evening or tomorrow. I missed sending a letter in our last mail because I thought of carrying it to Mobile. so of course I'll have to write a much longer one than usual to make up for lost time. Good bye. July 28^th 1864 Have just returned from the beach went last evening but rain kept us over night. "Well what about the Mobile excursion"? Do you know lawyer Seals? Roderick I mean he starts for the legislature tomorrow morning with his brother and will be delighted to have our agreeable company. Sis & Mr. Seals junior / are to occupy one buggy & your "dear, darling, little sweet heart" will honour his brother by permitting him to wait on her. Do you ever get jealous my love if so prepare to hear of my flirting desperately. Now I'll tell you why I consent to the above arrangement. Mr Roderick Seals was my fathers best friend (& by the way you rarely ever see two minds more congenial than was theirs. I have often been struck with their similarity of disposition, manner, &c) & is very much interested in me. he is kind, agreeable, intelligent business man & will do any thing in the world to accomodate a friend, but woe to his enemy for he will hunt him from the face of the earth.

 

31^st July Mobile Ala.

                        Here we are at last left home Friday morning and got to Springhill last night but are now with Mrs. Shepherd. Lizzie & "Sis" are sitting in the parlor conversing but I could not rest without conversing with my love. I feel very anxious to hear from you indeed. I do not believe I can remain here longer than necessary for the dentist to wait on me. I'm very tired now & suffering much with my eyes so you must excuse the incoherency of the conclusion. I am very much disappointed in Lizzie. now don't fly into a fit of __________ for twas agreeably so. she's much prettier than the photograph and I conclude that she is very lovable I was compelled to come here until a private boarding house could be found as I was very much averse to going to the hotel without some gentleman. she insisted on my remaining with her & of course I did not object as I was exceedingly anxious to learn to love her. Tell me one thing how could you fall in love with me when your two "Sisters" were so far superior in beauty & intellect. Tis one of the many mysteries I cannot solve. I will not write more at present as it is most mail time and I'll have plenty of time to write in the next ten days. good bye loved one May God bless thee is my hourly prayer.

                                               

Your loving

Jennie

SOURCES