Ocean Springs Miss

Sep^t 8^th 1864

 

My Darling Brother

                                    Your precious letter of the 21^fst of Aug was received yesterday also two from the Surgeon of the Columbus Ga Hospital where Will now is. The D^r at Will's ernest request wrote Ma "that her son Lieut J.I.K. was killed on the fifteenth of Aug shot through the brest & that Willie had his things" this was written on the 17^th & on the eighteenth Willie told him that it was not true & on examining him closely he found that Will was out of his head at the time he made the request & was still a little delirious when the last letter was written. It was quite a providential incident that your letter / came with these as I should have been nearly if not quite crazy had these letters come alone. I tremble even now with fear that Willie's delirious dream may be realized Oh! My God I cant give up either of my Brothers. Brother you must if God spares your life go to Willie he is among strangers & very sick. I would if I could go to him myself & Papa says he will go after him as soon as he can but that may be to late to see him alive as he (Willie) is very sick & even now may be dead. The thought maddens me that I must stay here at home when I might be able to do some good were it only to sooth as only woman can the pillow of the wounded & dying I am here inactive talking thinking of the good I could do but actualy doing nothing why? because I am a young lady & the world says it is improper. I wish I was forty years old or married. I will say yes to the first one that offers if he will let me go with / him to the army. One of my Brothers sick perhaps dying in a strange place with strange hands to tend him & the other perhaps this moment lying in another place wounded. the thoughts of this are madning if you are wounded I will come to you in spite of every thing even in the face of your prohibition no power can keep me from you if Papa will not go with me I will go alone I am determined on this & nothing can shake my determination. I am glad you did not destroy that letter as the indulgance of your feelings & thoughts to me have a meaning to me which is indiscribeable & peculiarly my own a meaning that you think not of. You will be glad to know that we are at last rid of Mrs Smith. I knew you loved her not. She insulted me & I told her what I had long thought of her & what I knew her to be. She called Mama a liar & Ma took it but I could not & resented it accordingly & she is now where she ought long ago have been in / Mama's estimation as low as Mrs James.

                                   

Brother I am affraid to read this over for fear that it must be distroyed & you will then have to wait untill next mail as I will not have time to write another this time. Good by God bless you

                                                                                   

Write soon to Your

Devoted Sister

SOURCES