Huttonsville March 1st 1862

 

            Your letter darling wife of the 23^rd was received by me just after supper, and it has made me feel very sad. Perhaps even now you are suffering from sickness, and it is impossible for me to be with you. Were you not with your mother I do not know what I should do. She will nurse you better than I possibly could, and this thought gives me great comfort. You must promise me hereafter not to delay, even for an hour in giving yourself proper attention. Always send for a physician in time, who can cure you by slight remedies. How heartily I unite with you dear wife in the wish that this wicked rebellion might speedily be crushed out of existence in order that we might be again reunited in peace & happiness. I have no pleasure in this life separate from the consoling thought that I am strictly performing my duty / without this I should be miserable indeed. To leave you as I did was to me the hardest thing I ever did. It seemed the breaking up of all that I valued in life, & only my strong feeling of the necessity of my course has sustained me thus far. Pray darling wife do not add to this by getting sick. There is no possibility of my leaving here, as we may be ordered to advance at any moment, and every officer is needed at his post. Of course I cannot tell when an advance will be made, but I do not believe we can move for some little time, and yet my belief may not coincide with the idea of Gen^l Milroy. You must always write to me just as you feel dear wife whether you are sad or gay, for I look upon your letter as always a truthful transcript of your heart. Were it otherwise I could not value them as I do. Continue therefore to tell all your feelings upon all subjects, as in this way only can we perfectly commune with each other. 

 

            Today I dined with Gen^l Milroy at his quarters. He gave me some account of the position of our own and the rebel troops in this vicinity, from which it does not seem atall likely that there will be any fighting in this division until we make our advance. Gen^l Milroy seems to be a determined man, and he will no doubt do some brave fighting as soon as he possibly can. Other Ohio regiments are said to be coming under his command, but how soon we can only conjecture. This afternoon I had the first battalion drill since leaving Newburg. The men did not turn out very strong but they did very well. There is a beautiful place here for drill just between our camp and the town, and I shall take advantage of every fair day to teach the men all that I can. The measles are increasing and no doubt will run through the whole camp This will impair the usefulness of the / regiment for some two or three weeks. I hope no advance will be made until we get through with this troublesome disease. The mumps I am told are decreasing, so that we are improving in some degree. But tonight I am writing about these things to you dear wife when my thoughts are far away with you. Your letter has depressed me, and I cannot rid myself of the gloomy feeling that perhaps you may be sick & suffering. I shall wait with great impatience for the next mail to learn whether your sickness has been as slight as you seem disposed to make it appear. Remember little wife that upon you depends all my happiness in this life, for without your loving presence life would indeed be a dreary waste to me. Take good care of yourself therefore if you love me, in order that we may once again meet in a loving warm embrace. Would that I could be with you now. How tenderly & faithfully would I nurse you. Give my love to the children and the family. May God bless & protect you darling wife and soon unite us again. Your loving but sad husband

N. C. M^cLean

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