Huttonsville March 19^th /62

 

            Two letters from you darling wife last night, but both of them sad and complaining of things which I fear cannot be remedied. You must learn little darling to take the world as it is, and not to expect that all persons are as good as you are, or as willing to do right.

 

In regard to Gen^l Fremont I am in great doubt. His conduct in Missouri was considered by most persons as altogether wrong in many particulars. But you must remember that this was but one side of the story upon which our opinions were founded. He has lately made his written defense which I have not seen. Some extracts I have read, but not enough to form an opinion of my own from his statements. Several Cincinnati papers speak of his defense as triumphant and it seems as if the country at large / were now convinced that great injustice has been done him, and that his policy and plans were the only true ones to be pursued. More than this he has been restored to a very important command, showing that the powers that have control are satisfied with his defense. Now it will not do to answer this by saying that Mr Lincoln has done wrong unless we have the clearest evidence of either error in his judgment, or corruption. I am disposed to entirely suspend my judgment until I have the opportunity of reading the defense of Gen^l Fremont and of witnessing the manner in which he conducts the campaign in Western Virginia. I always thot that great injustice was done to him in the delay of the Administration before his removal from Missouri. He was abased, his movements hampered and his credit destroyed, whilst at the same time he was permitted to go on if he could under these mountain drawbacks. /

 

            Grieve not then dear wife that we are under Gen^l Fremont, for I have no doubt it will all turn out for the best. Again I must in some measure differ with you in regard to Mr Lincoln's message in regard to emancipation. I read this a day or two ago and I cannot see anything in it atall objectionable. He merely recommends to Congress to help those States to emancipate their slaves which desire to do so. It is not atall interfering with the right of the slave states to hold on to slaves, nor in fact does it meddle with or impinge upon their powers in this respect in any particular, but it merely says, if you desire to become a free state I advise Congress to aid you in carrying out your wishes by the offer of pecuniary aid. Now Kentucky for instance has the full power to become a free state today if her people so will it, and I do not understand that Mr Lincoln intends in the slightest degree to interfere with her freedom / in this respect. How then does he do her injustice, or the slaveholders that live there? You think the matter should not be discussed atall, but you must remember that these discussions have heretofore been brought on by the aggressions of the southerners in Congress. You know that this matter of slavery has been used as the main argument to inflame the masses of ignorant slaveholders to participate in this rebellion, and those persons who are in open rebellion should receive the punishment of traitors. They have forfeited all right to the protection of the Government, and their property and lives must pay the penalty of their treason. I do not apply these remarks to those who have been led, but only to those infamous leaders who have sought their own selfish ends at the expense of the lives and fortunes of the majority of the people of the whole country. We are dear wife in a terrible state where we must / look disagreeable things in the face and try to do the best we can. How heartily would I bring the country back again to its former state of prosperity & happiness. I fear however that the bitterness of feeling which you speak of as existing in Louisville will continue to increase until there will finally be no end until our party or the other is entirely broken up. You must however admit that the bitterness has commenced on the part of the south, and it is their fault that this terrible war has been commenced. But dear wife let us not discuss this question. Let it satisfy both you and I that these rebels are trying to destroy our noble government by infamous means, and that justice and truth as well as the good of humanity demand that it should be maintained. Remember also that these same rebels would rejoice to destroy your husband, because he defends the right. 

 

I had much rather write you about yourself. That is a subject I can [?] of. I feel for you dear wife more than I can tell you. I know you must now feel at times very much depressed, but you must remember the cause and take comfort from that which is to come. I have caused this trouble at least in part, and must answer for it. Cheer up and think of other things than the suffering and depression of the present. Comfort yourself with bright anticipations of the future which I trust will be permitted by an over ruling providence yet to come for both of us. I take great comfort dear wife in the trust which I have in God's goodness and care over all his creatures. I know that danger lurks everywhere on the battle field, but I know also that I can be protected if he so wills it. Safety there is according to his will and in confidence and faith I always / place myself in his hands, knowing that all things are ordered according to his will. Be comforted then dear wife. We will again be united in love and happiness, and look back upon this dark hour of our separation as a dream that is past.

 

The men who are sick of the measles are generally doing very well. We have lost but two cases since our arrival here. The others are all apparently doing well enough. Today one of my Lieutenants named Wagman resigned. The reason given was family affliction & business troubles. He had a sister who was very sick, and some bank business matters amounting to a few hundred dollars to attend to & to attend this & see his sister he resigned, rather than make the proper effort to apply to Headquarters for leave of absence. He was a Methodist preacher and his resignation I think a fortunate thing for the regiment. The true reason / in my judgment he did not mention. The enemy was too near to suit his ideas of soldiering. This of course must not be mentioned as my opinion, but yet it is so most decidedly. He has resigned in the face of the enemy upon a single pretext which a walk of a mile to Huttonsville would have removed.

 

Gen^l Milroy has been ordered to Beverly as President of the examining board of officers and will remain there probably four or five days. When he returns we will be ready to receive orders from Headquarters.

 

I hope dear wife that you will make an effort and go out more than you have done. It will do your health good. I have read the article written by your Uncle William. He has undoubtedly suffered much but he must remember that he is an avowed secessionist  and if it were in his power would confiscate every dollar of union property that could be found. He and others like him are responsible for this whole trouble.

 

Love to the children & all the family. Kisses warm and loving to darling wife—

                                                                                                                       

N. C. M^cLean

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