Huttonsville March 30th 1862
The mail last night did not bring me a letter from you dear wife as I expected. I know that you must have written and I blame the Postmaster on the route. The 73rd Ohio is at present on the route between Webster and this place by which the mail must come, and I have but little doubt that the careless Postmaster in assorting the different mails for the two regiments has sent my letter to the 73rd. Your letters are however directed very plainly, and there must be great carelessness to make such a mistake. As the 73rd Ohio is to be in the same brigade I wish you to be very careful to make the number of our regiment very plain in directing your letters, so that no one can have any excuse for mistaking 75 for 73. A mistake might occur unless care is used in / making your figures very distinct. If my letters have taken that course I presume they will reach me by the next mail, or Col Orland Smith can hardly make his name out of mine. This reminds me that I have just heard of a Col N M McLean in some Pennsylvania regiment. I hope we may not get into the same army or it might lead to unpleasant mistakes. I might run if he did not, and then his reputation would suffer.
Our paymaster has not yet arrived. He is at Beverly within twelve miles of us, and we expect him on Tuesday. His arrival will be welcomed by all the regiment here and by many of their families at home. Some of our men have been in the service since the last of September without receiving a dollar. They will now be paid up to the first of March, leaving still one month due to them. I believe the / theory of the government is to pay every sixty days and this is a sample of its practice. Hereafter I trust theory and practice may conform to each other. We expect a Mr Fox who lives at Lockland and who is the father of Lieut Fox in Capt Friends company to come in for the purpose of taking back the money which the soldiers in that neighbourhood may desire to send home. I think if he comes I will send something to you so that you may not suffer for want of funds. The amount I cannot yet state, until I pay off my debts for subsistence thus far, servants wages &c. I wish that I could take it to you myself if only to get one good loving kiss of welcome and another of good bye. But I must not think too much of things that are now impossible. Hereafter perhaps when we have earned our laurels we may be entitled to ask leave of absence, when the enemy are no longer / in force resisting us. I am sorry that you take so gloomy a view of our position under Fremont. My rule is to make the best of everything, and therefore I have made up my mind to do my duty most cheerfully no matter who may be my commander. Genl Fremont may in fact never be where we are, although I hope he may. We are under the immediate command of Genl Milroy, whilst Fremont commands the whole division. Genl Milroy says that he has assurances from a reliable source that he will not be allowed to rust in these mountains, or in the rear guard, and that we shall have something to do. I therefore am contented for the present trusting that a short time will bring us where the 75th will have a chance to show its metal. My men are under what is considered here very strict discipline / and I do not fear the result when they come under fire. Capt Deshler's company has just been out on an expedition under the command of Lieut Col Thompson of the 3rd Virginia regiment. He gives anything but a flattering account of the Col's abilities or the description of his men. There was some two hundred men of the 3rd Virginia beside Capt Deshlers company and whilst the Capt kept our men marching as is our habit in close order, the others strung out over several miles at times. Every one seemed to go according to his own fancy, and the officers had no control over their men. If all our army were composed of such regiments we would be defeated in every battle if good disciplined troops opposed us. The fault is not with the men, but with the officers. They have been ignorant themselves, and failed to teach their men properly. The result is insubordination. / Our regiment has never yet been tried in the field in any other way than seven marches, but they have become quite expert with battalion drill, and have been taught obedience. With the discipline they are under if they do not fight it will be because they are cowards. I have no fears for them. They will obey in the time of need no matter what the order may be. But enough of all this speculation as to what we are going to do. Wait 'til we are tried.
Your last letters in regard to Evy have made me feel very easy in regard to her health, so that the failure to receive letters on last night does not give me the blues as much as it otherwise would. Before this I hope she is playing around as well as usual. How is your own cold. Pray be careful of yourself and do not let a cough fester upon you. You know this frightens me more than almost anything else. When I think of you or the children sick, I can scarcely contain / myself. Johny I hope may escape altogether although it would seem almost impossible. Write me word how he is. I received one letter last night from Cincinnati. It was from Mr Ellis. He wishes to rent our house and furniture from June through the summer. I shall decline by the next mail. I desire to keep our home as it is, even if you should prefer not to return there for the present. In this matter dear wife you must do as you please. If you prefer to remain at Louisville do so until I return. The house will be ready at any time to receive you. This war cannot last always, and should it suddenly terminate you and I would be thrown upon the town for a home. I often console myself with thinking about our little place, and how happy we can be there after all this trouble is over. No one can tell what / the end will be, or where each individual will land when peace is again declared. The future is not with us, and all that remains for us is to perform our duty. Our country may be totally changed by this war in every respect, and it behooves all men to do their part manfully in order to place themselves rightly on the record of their own consciences, and before the whole country.
How much I have thought of my darling wife this quiet Sunday and wished that we could be together. Sunday at home you know is always a day in which I have great enjoyment. We are more together on that day than any other in the week and there is always a happiness to me in being near you. Has Burnet returned yet to Cinti? I regret to hear that John Burnet was with him. Unless he has reformed he will be a bad companion for Burnet. Give my love to the children and all the family; also to Etta, Mary Johnson & all your friends who still think well of me. May God bless you darling & soon return you to my arms.
N. C. McLean