Strasburg June 21st 1862

 

            Once again dear wife we have stopped one day on our weary march backward and I have succeeded in borrowing some paper upon which to write you. I am afraid that for the last month and even longer than that my letters have not reached you even as often as I have written them, and I have been so situated that it has been impossible for me to write as often as I wished. We have had no regular mails either way, and so doubt many of them have been captured, or lost by the carelessness of those who have had them in charge. As yet we are without our baggage so that both men and officers are living in a state of discomfort that is not atall to be envied. Since our arrival here on yesterday there has been one improvement however which has comforted the men a great deal. They have had full rations of rice, potatoes, bacon and last, but I believe most prized soap. This latter article has not been given to the army during our whole expedition, and you can well imagine how the men have suffered in all the dirt and dust of our marching without so indispensable an article. My letters to you lately dear wife have I believe been filled with details of our troubles, but you must / not think from this that the men are entirely neglected. It is my constant care of them in every respect possible under the circumstances that has filled my thoughts with their trials and hence my letters must look like complaints perhaps more than I intend. We are now I hope near to our baggage train, and when we meet this the one half of our troubles will be over, for men and officers will feel that it is really a soldiers luxury to have good tents once more. We have fallen back to this point, and will probably tomorrow go a few miles further back by orders from Washington. I had written thus far at about half past four oclock this afternoon when I was interrupted by a report which made it necessary for me to visit our pickets and it is now after ten, and the first moment I could spare to finish my letter. I wrote you a day or two since that by the order of Gen^l Fremont I had been placed in command of a Brigade as acting Brigadier General and since then my duties have changed from those which formerly occupied me. Now I have the care and command of four regiments of infantry and one battery of artillery and this of course whilst it in one way increases my care and responsibility takes from me the immediate superintendence of the details of any one regiment, and in this way relieves me from many / vexations and troubles. Almost every one now gives me the title of General, and I can look out for a house in which to have my quarters, instead of feeling compelled to stay with my own regiment wherever it may be and no matter what accommodations I may have with me. This of course is an advantage and since our arrival here I have been quartered in a large brick house owned by a widow lady of the name of Kendricks. She has a family of young daughters almost grown some of them, and they all treat me with great politeness and kindness. Last night for the first time for I cannot tell how long, I had a good sleep in a nice clean bed, with everything around me comfortable. Mrs Kendricks and her family are well educated and refined and I assure it reminds me of home to be once more in the society of ladies. They are rebels, but we do not discuss the war but very little and agree in wishing that it was over. There is one singular thing in my being at this house. The brother of Mrs Kendricks and her step son, were both at the battle of M^cDowell in the rebel army, and the former was wounded at that time. I told her today that I led the troops at that battle but she does not seem to feel hardly towards me on that account. What a strange position we all occupy when we are thus entertained by the families of our enemies. My presence is not forced upon them either, for they are glad to have me / stay because my presence protects them from depredation. Tomorrow I expect we will march some four or five miles further to the rear to what is said to be a stronger position where I believe Gen^l Fremont proposes to make a stand for the present. When we stop I hope to get my tent and then I no longer stay in houses but remain at all times with my brigade. My appointment came of course out from Gen^l Fremont, and unless the President sees fit to act upon the hint thus given him I may at any time be displaced in my command by a real Brigadier if any should be ordered here without having any command. I have no friends that I know of near the President who will take the trouble to ask him to nominate me as Brigadier to the Senate, and therefore my continuance will probably depend upon good fortune and my own exertions and conduct whenever we again meet the enemy.

 

I received your letter about my clothes and am well pleased with all that you have done. Yesterday I succeeded in buying a light colored hat from a sutler which answers my purpose very well and will protect me from the sun. I still need my coat by the time it arrives and may probably send you another order in a few days for a different suit. In my last I wrote you that I was willing to let Sat go to Europe provided she could arrange the money matters without going in debt. If she goes I shall not probably see her for a long time and this is the hardest part of her going to me but I suppose I ought not to let my wishes upon this point deprive her of so good an opportunity. I hope she may go, and enjoy herself to her hearts content.

 

[sideways overwritten]

 

We are still in the dark as to our future in this valley & do not really know whether Gen^l Jackson is following us or has gone to Richmond. Time alone can determine.

 

Give my love to Lindy and the children and take for yourself darling wife many loving good night kisses with earnest prayers for our speedy meeting in peace and happiness. I sign my name as I write it officially—

                                                                       

N. C. M^cLean

Col Com^g 2^nd Brigade 1^st Division

 

Direct your letters to

Col N. C. M^cLean

Com 2 Brigade 1^st Division

Mountain Department

Virginia

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