Camp at Cedar Creek July 5^th/62

 

            Three mails have come dear wife without bringing me a letter from you. I am afraid you are putting your hurt into execution, and purposely writing less frequently than usual. I hope not however for you do not know how much this would distress me. I look for your letters as regularly as the mails arrive, and this I am glad to say is now every day. There has been but one failure since our arrival at this point. We receive the Gazette regularly every day only four days old. This seems to be approaching home very nearly when compared with our past experience. You must not cease to write because you do not hear from me, for I may be prevented by circumstances over which I have no control from writing to you, and surely to deprive me also of your letters would not be right. / During our last march you know full well that it was impossible for me to write to you often, and if you have received the letters which I did write they have sufficiently explained to you the reason. Our mails at very irregular intervals followed us, and the receipt of your letters brightened many a dreary  and tiresome march. Now when I do not hear from you I am constantly fearing that you have by some imprudence or over exertion made yourself sick. This fear troubles me very much, for I have a great dread of accidents of that kind. You are very near to your regular time and you should use the utmost precaution so as to go safely to the end. If you do I have no fear atall, for you got through so nicely before that I have full confidence in your being successful this time. Would that I could be with you to watch over and comfort you during the whole time. It is to me a great privation and makes my service / here particularly hard for me to endure. The country however now needs every soldier to be at his post ready for duty and however hard it may be for individuals, yet self must not be permitted to be paramount in controlling our movements. We have just received Baltimore paper of the 4^th of July containing reports of the seven days fighting before Richmond. The result has cast a gloom over us all, but had only fixed more firmly the determination to persist in this war until we finally triumph. Every day now seems filled with great events which influence for good or ill the fate of our country and we watch for the daily news with the most intense anxiety. M^cClellan has evidently been driven back with great loss, but whether he has been so crippled by the fight as to prevent his pursuing immediately his attack upon Richmond with the reinforcements which have been sent / to him, we cannot tell. It seems very clear that the rebels have concentrated their forces at Richmond to such a degree as to enable them to attack our troops with an immensely superior force, and in this way they have gained all their advantages in the late battles, but their victories must have cost them very dear. They have lost one of their most active Generals (Jackson) and I do not doubt that the loss in the aggregate is much larger than our own. If this is so their victories may lead directly to their total defeat. We have fresh troops which are now being thrown forward with great expedition, and on their side they have with them most probably all the troops they can command for the defense of Richmond. Under these circumstances such battles lead directly to defeat. How long we remain here I cannot tell. A part of Schencks division, Gen^l Piatt's brigade, moves this morning to Winchester, and doubtless we will follow shortly. Love to Lindy & the children & more than I can express to darling wife—   N. C. M^cLean

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