Head Quarters 2^nd Brigade 1^st Division

Camp at Sperryville July 14^th 1862

 

            We are still here dear wife waiting for orders. When I wrote you on yesterday I fully expected by this time to receive my orders to move, but Gen^l Sigel has not yet arrived and we are still resting as quietly as if no enemy were in the country. In truth I am afraid Gen^l Pope is making the mistake which has been common with our Generals in this war, in attempting to manage an army like this in the field at so great a distance as Washington. It is impossible for him to know all the exigencies of our situation unless he can have hourly communication with us. This he cannot do for there is no telegraph nearer than Warrenton, and that town is some twenty five miles distant. We know nothing therefore of our commanding general excepting through orders / issued from Washington. We have difficulties in moving of which he does not know, and if he does not come upon the ground I am afraid there will be a repetition of the march to Port Republic and possibly with the same result in the end. The enemy however I believe are at present too hard pressed at Richmond to be able to send out against us any considerable force, and this perhaps may prevent our being driven back. But how vain and foolish it is for me to speculate upon this subject. We talk wisely and lay our plans to act in this or that manner, when perhaps a single hour may change the whole face of affairs. I had an instance of this when I was in the advance with the regiment beyond the Shenandoah mountain. I had been ordered to make an attack upon some rebel forces at Churchville, and had made all my plans for that purpose, waiting only for some cavalry, when lo and behold the enemy / from another quarter came against us in much superior numbers, and we were forced to retreat. So it goes all the way through we are never certain one day of what the next will bring forth. I am often astonished at the apparent want of anxiety and care for the future which the soldiers exhibit but our life teaches us to look only to the present. Each one throws the responsibility from his own shoulders upon those of his superior officer, and so it goes on up to the Commander in Chief. With the rank the care and anxiety of mind increases. How different a life this is from the quiet of home, and how dearly I would like to make the exchange of this one for the other could it be done. I have great faith in the events of the next four weeks. I think the fate of Richmond will be determined by that time, and if so there will be no necessity for keeping so large an army concentrated at any one point. I hope that my anticipations may be realized for then there will be no difficulty / in getting leave of absence. As the time approaches when I have allowed myself to think of actually going home, I find that I am getting more and more anxious every day for the matter at Richmond to assume such a satisfactory shape as will make it certain that I can obtain my leave of absence. I have great faith in M^cClellan and believe that all of his slanderers will in the end be put to confusion. Heaven grant that Gen^l Pope may be a man of the same metal. How much I wish that I could be with you this month. I sometimes get perfectly homesick, and nothing but imperative duty could keep me away from you.

 

            Ask Burnet if he has bought a cot for Lieu^t Niles. The Lt says he gave him ten dollars to buy one for him and he is anxious to hear from him. Do not forget to answer in regard to this in your reply to this letter. Love to Lindy and the children & warmest love to darling wife—            N. C. M^cLean

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