Head Quarters 2^nd Brig 1^st Div

Camp at Chantilly Nov 23^rd 1862

 

            I could not write to you on yesterday dear wife as I was ordered by Gen^l Stahel to go with him to Fairfax Court House, and did not return until dark. As soon as I reached my quarters I went to bed with a very bad headache entirely unable to write. Today I received your letter of the 14^th telling me that the baby was a little unwell. It was written two days before the letter from Eliza in which she says she is so very ill. I am therefore without any news from home of a later date, and my anxiety is very great to hear from you. No news is said to be good news but in this case I am afraid to rely upon the saying. / And yet it is the only comfort I have in not hearing from you. I was present today when the mail was opened and looked for a letter from you with feelings that I can hardly describe. Tottie's postscript to Eliza's letter has left me but little hope for our dear baby, and I dreaded to see a letter with the mark of death on the seal. I must hear from you in some way shortly if I have to go to Washington to do so. How little we know of what a single day may bring forth. For the few past days before the receipt of Eliza's letter I have been in the highest spirits anticipating your arrival, but in a moment all my anticipations are turned to sorrow. I have one consolation to keep up my hopes until I again hear from you, and that is, I know that you all are very easily alarmed and perhaps baby may not be so sick as you fear. A severe cold would affect / her in the same way as lung fever and yet would disappear in a few days. I hope it may prove so in her case, and that by this time she may be as well as ever. Tomorrow perhaps I may hear from you. God grant that your letter may bring me good news. I wish that I could be with you dear wife at this time. Not that I could do our dear baby any good but it would be such a comfort to us both to be together at any trial which may come upon us. For the present I have almost given up all hopes of your being able to come on at present, but still I will not entirely give you up, for as soon as baby is able to travel you must come if we are in reach. At present our camp is distant seven miles from Fairfax Court House and from present appearances you might very easily come to me. There is one difficulty in the way of your coming / to the house where I have my present quarters. The children have the whooping cough and I should be afraid to expose baby to this disease after her present attack. No doubt however I can find other quarters equally as comfortable for you if it should be possible for you to come on now. I do not feel as if I could very easily give up the pleasure of having you with me for at least a portion of the winter. Your last letter was written on your birth day, and I must plead guilty to having forgotten the day, but not the month. You know I have a bad memory for dates, and I had placed your birth day on the 24^th of the month. I was talking to Major Reily about it only a short time before he left for home and regretting that I could not purchase you a present. I now owe you two anniversary presents which I will try and pay some day when our prospects are brighter. Love to Eliza Mary Minor & the children with loving kisses to yourself & dear baby.

                                                           

N. C. M^cLean

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