Head Quarters 1^st Division 11^th Corps

Brooks Station Jany 26^th 1863

 

              I received your letter of the 23^rd dear wife today. I cannot understand why it should have been three days on the road when the distance can be traveled over in five or six hours. I suppose the difficulty is in the post office, as very likely the letters are not mailed as soon as they might be after they reach the office. There ought not however to be so great a delay. My letter that I am now writing will leave here at about eight oclock tomorrow morning and will, unless there should be some accident, reach Washington by one oclock. You ought to be able to receive it tomorrow afternoon. Perhaps however the Col only gets his mail once a day & if so that will make some delay. 

 

You tempt me greatly in regard to your coming down, and if I find it impossible to go to you I certainly will have you make me a little visit without Bessie at first in order to see how it will do. I am very sorry however that you have so little nourishment for her, for it always gives me pleasure to think that you are able to nurse her. I am hoping however every minute to get permission to visit you and with this letter to send only in case I am disappointed. I wrote a note to Genl Stahel this afternoon telling him that as yet I had not received an order to go to Washington, and that tomorrow would be Tuesday. He promised to arrange it for me by that time. He sent me a verbal answer, that at the moment he was very busy with Genl Sigel, but would send me a reply after a while. I am therefore waiting anxiously / to hear from him. My hopes however are growing less & less as the hours pass by without the appearance of an orderly. It is now nearly bed time and unless I receive a reply very soon, I will give up all hope until morning.

 

Major is staying here at present. He left the regiment at Belle Plain and came up with the intention of going to the hospital but we stopped him here and he is now well enough to ride out and by tomorrow will I hope be quite well. We are all in a sad state in regard to the probable change in the commander of the 11^th Corps. It seems to be pretty well decided that if Stahel & Schurz should be confirmed as Major Generals that Stahel is to have a large cavalry force and Schurz the 11^th Corps. This will not suit me atall but how to help myself I cannot tell. So long as there is any chance of active operations here I of course cannot ask to be relieved from my / command, but unless they give me Smiths brigade for my German one I certainly will make every effort to change my position. And yet when we attempt such things how often does the result turn out differently from our expectations. Many times during this war have I seen this happen and it has almost given me a superstitious feeling in regard interfering in any way with the course of matters, further than fully performing my duty under all circumstances. Providence will guide us in all cases. I feel unsettled in every respect. If Congress should not change the law in regard to the limit of Generals then I am very confident that my military career will very shortly come to an end. Would that we could have certainty in this matter. I must stop with love to Ev & her family Tottie, Bessie and darling wife. May I give you the kisses this time in person before you receive this letter.            M^cLean

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