Head Quarters 1^st Division 11^th Corps

Brooks Station Jany 29^th 1863.

 

              I have to thank you for your letter enclosing postage stamps today dear wife, and suppose I must excuse you for not writing the day before as little Bessie was the cause of your failure. I cannot understand why they do not take children unless it is because they are liable to spoil so many plates in the effort. They ought to charge more but make the trial all the same. I am more anxious to have another photograph of yourself for I am not atall satisfied with those I have. The last profile looks as if your face was swollen. You must certainly have another taken.

 

I rode over to Stafford Court House this morning in spite of the horrible roads in the hope of getting permission to visit you. I was unsuccessful however and / must wait still longer. I have felt very much provoked all day and withal more discouraged than ever. I fear that political influence and not soldierly merit will rule the day, and thus the great cause of the country be sacrificed. Each one is working not only to put himself up, but to pull some one else down, and intrigue has taken the place of fair and honorable open dealing.

 

              There is something which I cannot understand in keeping me here just now. Stahel says that I ought to be here during the changes which are being made in the army, and yet I am not in any of their secrets, nor am I consulted atall in regard to any changes contemplated. If I could do either harm or good at Washington, I might see some reason for keeping me here, but as I do not propose further to interfere with matters it can be of no use to prevent my leaving. I am afraid, they intrigue so much themselves that they suspect everyone else of the same thing 

 

              Today for the first time I have not been satisfied with the way in which Genl Stahel is acting in regard to my visiting Washington, and yet for the life of me I cannot see why he should object on any personal grounds. I have pressed the matter now so much that I must as a matter of pride remain quiet for a day or so. It is very provoking but I must submit. I hope however yet to be with you by Sunday, & will do so if I possibly can.

 

              Another circumstance has happened today which has troubled me not a little. Three officers from the Staff of Gen^l Fremont called upon me this afternoon to get an ambulance to go to Gen^l Stahel. They reported that Fremont was expected at Washington every day, and it was thought to be the intention to give him another command. Now this would cap the climax of our troubles, as most likely it would be my bad fortune to fall under him. What is it that / influences our Government to act in this way. I will not believe this rumor however until the order of the Department is really issued. Then some gentlemen say that it is not thought the Senate will confirm many of the nominations made by the President, and I most sincerely hope that all political nominations will be instantly rejected. I most heartily wish they would act immediately, as if I am to leave the service I desire to know it as soon as possible. I have thought over this matter very seriously and feel that under all the circumstances the chances are decidedly against Congress taking off the limit now fixed by law to the number of Generals, and should they refuse to do this my chance for confirmation is very slim. I shall feel badly to go home and remain quiet during this struggle, but with my duty performed I can have nothing in the past to regret on that score.

 

Love to Ev & family Tottie Bessie and loving good night kisses to darling wife

                                                                                                                                               

 M^cLean

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