Brooks Station Feb 9^th 1863

 

Two letters from you dear wife since I wrote to you. One yesterday & another today. They were very welcome and relieved my anxiety in regard to Sattie & Bessie. I did not write to you on yesterday because I was really unable to do so. I had one of my old sick headaches which commenced in the night and lasted all the next day and night, and which has not yet entirely left me. I do not remember to have suffered more, at any former attack than I did at intervals yesterday & last night. Today I feel the effects very sensibly and have no appetite for the food which we have. I shall be quite well tomorrow.

Today I received the order from Genl Stahel by which he resumes the command of the 1^st Division and orders me to resume command of the 2^nd / Brigade, so that I tomorrow will go back again to my old command. At this moment I have no command atall as I have not yet returned to that of the Brigade. I felt too unwell to do so, and told Col Richardson to hold on until he received an order from me. This I will issue in the morning should I feel well enough. You must not suppose that I am seriously sick, for I am only a little under the weather from the effects of the headache, and have been up all day in my room, seeing all persons who called whether upon business or pleasure. Among this latter class I had a visit from Colonel Salm and his wife. They stayed to supper and their visit was quite agreeable. Mrs Salm is quite pretty and has stopped here several times with her husband in her rides on horseback. She is very lively and gay, and very different from my own darling wife / for which difference I am sorry for her husband, as I think a wife like you would make any man happier than Mrs Salm possibly could. She goes to Washington tomorrow, and says she hopes you will be here on her return as she intends to give a dinner party at which she wishes you and I to be present. What do you say, will you accept the invitation?

 

              I intend to try and force a short leave again in a few days, but do not know whether I can succeed. It would be delightful to have you here dear wife, and to be able to carry you about with me wherever I moved, but I must say no to sending Bessie to your mother. She is entirely too delicate, and I know perfectly well that however much you may love me, you could not be happy away from her for any length of time. In the army you might at times / be weeks without being able to have one word from her, and how could you stand this? Again suppose you should hear that she was sick would you not be crazy to start for her at once, and it probably would be impossible for you to go immediately. I know from past experience what troubles you would meet with in this respect, and you would be more unhappy under them than you are now. If you were alone I would not hesitate one moment in bringing you out here and keeping you with me too on my marches, for I know that you could and would endure all privations in order to be with me but with little Bessie it is very different. Still if I remain in this house I think with some little expense it might be made tolerably comfortable and I intend to try & get you here. In five days it will be decided whether I go or stay. If I move I will build a log cabin.

 

Tell Sat I wrote to Burnet today about the Miller & Campbell notes & directed my letter to Cinti.

 

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If you remain at Washington I should like very much to have Mrs Pendleton at the same house with you. Will it not be possible for her to take the rooms if Bell does not do so, or if you do not go to Mr Frazer?

 

Love to Ev & family, Tottie Bessie and loving kisses to darling wife—

M^cLean

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