Henry B. McIlvaine was born on October 26, 1828, in Louisville, Kentucky. By 1860, he was living in North Hempstead, New York. He worked as a farmer, and he owned $30,000 of real estate and $5,000 of personal property. He married a woman named Margaret on November 20, 1860, and they had at least four children, including: Catherine, born around 1865; Helen, born around 1869; and Harriet, born around 1860. Their first child, born in the early 1860s, may have died in 1864.
McIlvaine enlisted in the Union army on November 29, 1861, and he mustered into the 5th New York Heavy Artillery. According to his service records, he was 5 feet, 7¾ inches tall, with light hair and blue eyes. His military ranks are unclear. His service records indicate that he mustered in a 1st lieutenant on December 2, 1861, but he was “not commissioned 1st Lieut[enant].” By March 1862, he was serving as a major. He was then “commissioned Lt Col [lieutenant colonel]” in February 1863 but “not mustered.” He was stationed in Fort Marshall in Baltimore, Maryland, from May 1862 until April 1864. He mustered out on December 16, 1864.
He returned to North Hempstead after leaving the army. By 1870, he owned $50,000 of real estate and $8,000 of personal property, and he employed at least three white domestic servants. They moved to Faribault, Minnesota, around 1876, and he died there on June 15, 1883.