Nashville Novr. 29^th 1863

 

My dear brother/

                        You will undoubtedly, as it should be done, want to answer mother’s letter, without much delay & I will employ in the moments of interval in our hard pressed work & answer it, that you you may get the letter back, as soon as possible. I worked till half past three o’clock this morning & do not feel very much like corresponding, but I will do my best.—

 

On a most careful review of the letter, I find, that my impression was correct;—that mother got mixed up in her ideas & drew conclusions, entirely errenoeous and with a mother’s care & anxiety, as you know she would judge by, made matters so much worse, that I actually smiled, at her undue anxiety; God evermore bless her!—But to her letter. The first item is, the allusion to Sarah’s preference of going to N.Y. but would not, (& as I have told you) could not go there, on the very account, stated by mother, “[*]”;—I stated it just so to mother & thus far, she has it right,—but the addition,—“[*]”, is entirely the product of her anxious mind, prompted by a heart, as only our mother has—That “[*]”, ought to satisfy you, I never made any such statement,—but I did say, that Sarah’s idea is, because we are poor in money, she is nothing thought/of, and mother, took a most uncomfortable view of it.—I proceed;—referring to my unhappiness & that I said, that I was poor in friends ([*]), I will but say, if our good mother will examine my letter, she will find, it refers solely to my bitter dissappointment felt at the treatment I received from Wiles, whose name, of course, I did not mention; but I believe, I made an allusion to my failure in business & how little I got for years of hard work & struggle & in that, I attached blame to no one & not even dreamed, of telling her any particulars.—Her quotation about not hearing from you and the Uncles, is correct &—so it was in fact;—I occupied about three lines in stating it & added, “that I also did not write to them”, which she overlooked.—About going South, I have already wrote you about & the word “[*] as used by her, perverts my meaning. It means only “business friends”, but she naturally took it as “relations”,—does it not bear that meaning to you?;—to me, who wrote the letter, it can’t do anything else.—Her question, what happened between us & living under the impression, that we have quarreled & are ill friends is merely her conclusion, derived from Sarah’s removal which to her mind is so strange & unwarranted, unless caused by disagreement between us & also from my remarks made as to my financial matters, of which I will now tell you, I should never have mentioned a word, had she not directly asked me to do it. If I wrote at all about it, shall it be the truth or a varnished statement of a to me, vital point of interest?—I think,/your answer can explain matters, as regards our friendly relations, fully sufficient to allay all uncalled for impressions.—Can I help smile at her suggestion, to come to my relief with your counsel?—but immediately after that, comes an expression, which again shows, how she got mixed, her in her anxiety for me “[*]?”,—what does that mean, but what I already told you as having written to her, “that my lack of means, was on account of my bad luck in business!”—do you think me capable of telling mother, I am poor, because you and the Uncles did’nt give me money & support my family, during my absence?—On the last page, she again takes up the subject & expresses her deep anxiety for me & for her?—Do you not see clearly, that she jumps to the conclusion, that Sarah went among strangers, because of her poverty and—your evident lack of helping her? “[*]?”—that cuts me & I would to God, I never had borrowed a cent of him. Now comes the question, who told her that?—I never did,—for the loan was of his own accord, not of any demand of mine & do you not know, that Sarah, for a long time, refused to touch it?—If you gave her the idea, that the Uncle Augustus or any one else, for charity sake, furnished me with means, you will do me the justice to rectify the to me injurious impression, if not belief.—When I receive a letter from her, it/will be proper to answer her question “[*]”—there is the whole in a nut shell & from this point, mother imagines that trouble is existing between us. You can tell her from me, that she is misunderstood me in many points, which I will explain in due time.—I know not, whether I have fully met your various charges by proper explanations or not;—any omission can be quickly filled, by correspondence.—

 

Sarah’s Box in the P.O. is 2857; I presume you know it now anyhow, as I foresaw the difficulty and informed Sarah of it;—she knew not, what to make of your silence &—you felt puzzled to know, why you did not hear from her,—I laughed & said to myself—“he forgot the Number of the box,—she dont even guess at it or enquire at the P.O. about it a letter from him. All is well, that ends well,—and I hope, it will be also true, when once I get straightened with the many troublesome things, that have kept me in hot water so long,—darn me, if I don’t catch it on all sides,—I must be a dreadful bad fellow.—Have heard nothing from the 74^th yet.—At last received my valise this morning.—My blankets I may & may not get,—but I will keep on trying for it. Nothing yet of my Overcoat. I do not think that the boxes, Remington took, have reached the Regiment & is no telling, how long it may take now, for them to get there.—The weather is really cold now & I would like to have that piece of my wardrobe,—but can’t help it—Bully for Fanny!—no fears, that our family will be extinct, if you did only fool about your boy.—in prospect.—I have made out to finish the letter, but such writing!—

 

Answer soon.—                      Edward

 

[front top margin: I am obliged for disposing of our things,—please do it as fast as you can if anything can be realized on it.—Dont Edwards want to buy that cow.—if he dont, can’t he find a purchaser?—she ought to bring $20⁰,—but would be content at with $15⁰;—but, please, let Sarah know it first,—I left it all to her.]

 

[*phrases or words written by the mother in German and transcribed by the son in German script]

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