Nashville June 5.1864

 

My good brother.—

                                    Without any special subject to write about, I will yet attempt to follow your injuction to write often and soon”.—Your letter of the 30^th (which I received on the 1^st inst.,) speaks about an evaporation of a scheme; you do not know the circumstances or you would not think so. My great scheme was to get home—(no, not home, for I have none now),—to get to see to my family, which I certainly did & when in future time, I will tell you of the condition I found things, of which you know nothing of now, you will agree with me, that I did not come a day too soon & that I could do no better, than send them East, however sooner than was anticipated.—As to the Gov^t business, it was to me but a means to reach the object in view and that as Uncle W^m wrote me, was “[German, in German script]”.—The party on whom I dependet for work, failed to carry his point, so that left me free to do as I pleased. My trip did not cost me one cent, as Uncle Sam paid me 75^c. a day for the time I was away/besides my fare.—Stockdale helped me to that & out of pure good feelings to me.—I gracefully concede to your remarks, concerning our friends in N. Y.—I am more than surprised.—I at present do not fully realize or appreciate it, for I have been in a terrible state of mind for the past two weeks,—thinking so much about my own state of affairs;—but when once over, I shall view it with great delight. Even, aunt Ann,—from whom I least looked for it, evinced great desire to make all amends & the last letter from Sarah (27^th May) informs me, that she accepted aunt Ann’s invitation & would pay her a visit of a few days at her house.—She was to have gone home on the 1^st, but they all insisted so, upon her staying an other week, that she finally consented to it; and she done right. I must say, that Sarah has acted wisely,—in forgetting & forgiving” & I am not a little interrested to get a letter from some of them, to see how the other side talks.—I am truly glad, the old state of things has passed away. If only, in God’s providence, I could succeed in doing better.—Things in general, have an unpromising look for me & I have but faint hopes for anything good in the future;—but this looking without/faith in the future & self condemnation for the past, is the most harrowing experience I ever passed through!—

 

            The information of the casualities in the 74^th was known in Rockford three days before I had the first inkling of it & that came in a letter from Nieman—he still keeps well & all sound.—I went through the Hospitals & found all had been sent to Lousiville who came here. Cole is still in Chattanooga,—I am watching daily, that I may render him any assistance in my power & yet nothing is more likely, than that he may pass through here, before I find it out;—the wounded arrive by the hundred every day.—We know nothing of Sherman’s movements here.—He was within four miles of Atlanta last Thursday & this all that is known about his vast army.—The 100 day troops are swarming in & those fine gentlemen can’t just see, why they have to go & garrison little towns in Georgia & Alabama, when they hardly expected to see Nashville. It is refreshing, to see these Counter jumpers learn to know, what soldiering means.

 

            We have had oppressive hot weather; the rains for the past two days have left a damp, heavy atmosphere, which is anything but agreeable.—/Accounts of crops to come, are promising;—who would’nt be a farmer in these days?

 

            I can only return the assurance of my love & esteem for Lona, for the one you so suspiciously sent me.—With the most humble view of my own merits; I can not see, what others find, to think much of me about,—and yet every letter I receive, has a message of love from some one, that I can not doubt, is sincere & the only question with me is, why it is so?—Oh, but I had a letter from Uncle W^m!(sent to Chicago & remailed to me)—it is more than good & kind;—it affects me to tears, every time I read it.—I do hope so much, that I may be permitted to see him again in this life!

 

            I have had serious intention to go to the front,—but am deterred by reason of my wife & children.—Should I go, I know it would be no more in charge of Military Documents in the rear, but where the bullets fly & the shells plow the ground.—I shall mail a letter to mother to day & have for once, something to write about.—

                                                                        Evermore

                                                                                    Your’s grateful

                                                                                                and affectionate brother

                                                                                                                        Edward.

Need I ask you

to write soon again?

I hope you will without it.

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