Johnstown Dec. 7^th 1864

                                                                          Wednesday Afternoon

 

My Friend Frank,

                                    The long-looked-for came today, but brought disappointment with it. I do not know how I shall forgive you for not fullfilling your promise of coming to Johnstown when you would get home, as I was very anxious to see what my army correspondent looked like and hear how he talked, and in short—to become better acquainted than is possible through correspondence.

 

But I suppose that nameless fair one will have to come in for some share of the blame, as it was, most likely, owing to her attractions that you were kept so long at home. But then I cannot chide you for allowing yourself to be enslaved—as I prophesied you would, for I am even now engaged in negotiations of the same kind./

 

When I have fully decided the matter—which I will be obliged to do soon—I will let you know the result, as you have been so prompt with me. I thank you for your confidence, showing that you esteem me a little above a common acquaintance. As the lady is a Methodist, surely with her persuasions united to mine, it will not be long before Frank will be one too. How is it? When you are married, I shall expect to see you both in our humble home. Remember now, I claim it as a right, I shall look for you next spring—so you can make your arrangements accordingly.

 

I have no doubt that if she is one who would be capable of winning your love, but I shall love her also—for I think she is worthy. I have never told you anything of my inner life. I have deeply suffered—far more than those with whom I am in daily association ever imagined. There was one with whom I had hoped to have travelled the rugged path of life, made smooth by his strong arm and/deep love. We loved each other more than even my pen can express. Many suitors I had but none touched my heart save this one. He entered the ministry, and was appointed a circuit—the nearest point of which was just eight miles below town. And as every four weeks he reached that appointment, I was just as sure of seeing him, as I was of seeing Monday morning. Once, just at the time I looked for him, I was sent for to go away some distance and take charge of a school. But it was not long till a letter followed me. On my return—three months after—he sent me word that I should go down to a campmeeting which was to be held on his circuit in about two weeks, adding that he could not get to town before that time. I went—and if ever any man showed his love in his actions he did at that time. He accompanied me home—and it was not long till he was back at his sister’s—sick. By his request I went to see him several times. Before he was able to be up, I went to Pittsburg to school,/but with the promise of seeing him in the city as soon as he was able to travel. In due time he came to see me. After he left I looked and waited in vain for a letter. After I had been there some six months there came a letter chiding me for not answering his. Before I answered that letter, I saw him again, but his manner was so distant and strange, that I could not speak a word about the letter, had my happiness depended on it. One or two letters passed between us after that. At last there came an open rupture, and he blamed me for it all. Oh, Frank, y my heart was almost broken. Sometimes I thought I should never rally. I felt that I did not want to live. I do not know to this day what caused him to act as he did, as he never gave a full explanation of his conduct.

 

Lately there came one who without any intentions of doing so, learned to love me dearly and now asks my hand in marriage. Although I cannot give him the passionate love, which I gave to Jim, still I entertain for him a very strong affection, and believe I could be very happy with him, as his love for me is so deep. There has been one obstacle in the way of our union, or the matter would have been fully decided some time ago. At some future time I may tell you what it is. He wants me to give up my will to his in one particular, and I will give him up before I will do it. I cannot tell what course he will decide to take. I would be pleased to know more about your lady-love, when you write again. Your friend Mollie

 

[overwritten]   You will remember that you told me to send a letter to W^msport by the time you would get home from the army. I did so, and last week, it came back to me from the Return-Letter-Office. Not knowing but my last letter had met with the same fate, or not knowing but you were sick, I wrote last week, sending both letters, but requesting on the back of the the letter that they be sent back if not called for in ten days. If you will send word at once, you may still get them before they are sent back. I have answered this promptly so that you will have time to get them.

 

Give my compliments to—what shall I call her? Well you will know her name if I don’t.

 

                                                In the bonds of friendship

                                                                                    Mollie.

 

Excuse the length of this letter. M.

SOURCES