New Berne N. Carolina

Wednesday Apr 8^th 1863

 

My Very Dear Wife

                                    Our office is closed today. Mr Means is dead! He died Monday eve at 9 oclock. It was my sad privilege to be with him all day Monday and when he died. He suffered very much during the day from congestion of the lungs which was the cause of his death at last I think he was rational and conscious most of the time during the day. A great many came in to see him: most of whom he recognized with a faint smile he could not speak. Once during the day he was looking very earnestly at me, and I pointed and looked up. he smiled and seemed to know what I meant. When I got back from tea, I found he was sinking very fast. Mrs. James came in and applied hot flannels to his chest, which seemed to relieve him very much. I do not think he suffered much during the last two hours. His death was a very easy one. his breath grew shorter and shorter untill it stoped there was no struggle hardly a gasp. His nephew and I were with him. we found that he was failing so fast that we sent for his brother. he got there just as he breathed his last. There was a pleasant coincidence at his death. The band of the 45^th were seranading Dr horony that evening whose residence was not far from where Mr Means was. They were informed that Mr Means was very low but if they played soft pieces it would not disturb him. Among other pieces of that kind they played “Sweet home.” The strains came floating into the room where Mr Means was dying like music from the other world which was being brought so near to us. just as the last strains were dying away his spirit was released from its prison house, and we had no doubt that angel/ voices and golden harps were welcoming him to that other home where there shall be neither sickness nor death.

 

There will be a funeral service here this afternoon and the body sent home in charge of his nephew by the boat which leives tonight. He is universally mourned The blacks feel that they have lost a friend.

 

His brother and nephew feel it very much. His family do not yet know that he is dangerously sick. It will be a heavy blow to them. He leives a wife and 4 children, the youngest about 12 years old.

 

His brother will conduct the buisness untill some one else is appointed When that will be an who it will be I have no idea. I am afraid after the funeral and all is over, that his brother will be sick, but I hope not.

 

Mr Hastings remains about the same as when I wrote last. I do not think he is any worse, perhaps a little better. He is in better spirits, which will be a help to him. His appetite is better too. But I do not know as his cough is any better. He thinks he shall get out again in a little while and I am glad he does. I hope he will but I am afraid it will sometime before he is well again. Please write me how Sarah bears up. I know it is hard for her. He is very comfortably sick does not seem to suffer except from weariness

 

            I wrote you that the 5^th had gone to Washington they came back yesterday morning. They did not land at all. They are now expecting to go overland. I do not know but they have started. I am glad I do not go as I should be sorry to leive Mr Means now. He needs all the help he has had.

 

            I do not know what the situation of affairs at Washington is now. But I understand they we have had reinforcements from Virginia and I presume the object/ of sending troops overland is to “bag” the rebels. I hope they will succeed in doing it.

 

            I had a nice horse back ride yesterday. Mr. Means told his servant to saddle the horse for me he said it would do me good. Mr Page the other clerk ownes a horse. he got his and we rode first to our Reg and then across the Trent river almost down to the old battlefield. It was the third ride I have had since I have been here. I find myself rather sore this morning.

 

I had a severe headache last night but it is better this morning. I am well otherwise. I did not expect when I came here that I could say now that I hadn’t been sick yet. I feel that I ought to be very grateful to our Heavenly Father for thus watching over and keeping me. I mean to be very careful of myself and at the same time feel ready for whatever may be in store for me. I hope you will too.

 

            You have been sustained thus far much better than I feared you would be. Still hold yourself ready for whatever Providence may direct. How great a blessing it is that we have a God whom we can trust to do what is right and best.

 

            We had a mail in yesterday morning. I had a letter from Dea Curtis. No news of any consiquence except that Lemraman Brigham and Wife were interested in religeous things.

 

If I get eversomany letters by any mail and do not get one from you I do not feel satisfied. I did not expect one from you yesterday however as it only brought dates to 31^st ult. Please to write once a week as you used to and oftener if you should know of any boat coming.

 

Mr Wood is well. I could not have a better chum than he is. So far as I know the boys you know in the/ reg are well. Sergt Hayes has got his discharge and will go home this evening. He is not sick but the Goldsboro march used him up so that he has not been able to do duty since. You will not forget him I presume when you think of your husband in the quard house at Winchester. I am happy to say that I have thus far escaped prisons and guard houses here. I believe my wife felt a little anxious on that front dident she?

 

I suppose you are looking forward to the end of my term of service now quite anxiously I do not think it best to think much about it or no more than I can help I see in the Boston Herald that our time is not considered to expire untill July 8^th but I think we shall go home with the 44^th. I do not think they will take one reg home alone. If that statement is true I think I am quite fortunate in being in the 5^th as almost all the reg have longer to stay than we. The 42^nd I see have till Aug 11^th to serve. I am sorry if it should be so, on Augustus Fitts account.

 

            I learn that a great many troops are now living the city for Washington overland. Very few are left in the city.

 

I hope to hear that you continue well, and that Eddie will not lose any of his fat I want to see you both very much. But do not feel impatient so long as you are well.

 

Most of the ladies are leiving for the north some are afraid of the rebs and some are afraid of the weather. It is not very warm here yet just about comfortable. I do not fear the weather atall Natives here say that northerners stand the first summer much better than the second. I dont see why.

 

Always remember me to all our friends who enquire. Much love to your folks. Very much to you and eddie    Affectionately Yours  Charles.

 

[overwritten]

Thursday morning. We received another mail last night I got a letter from Frank and one from Shrewsbury but none from you I am afraid your ride home made you sick I shall await another mail with considerable anxiety. This mail brought dates to Apr 4

 

            I attended Mr Means funeral yesterday as one of the bearers There was a very large amount of blacks. They mourn for him as for a real friend. Chaplin Clark of I think the 24^th [?] did the sermon. He is an old friend of the family. I didn’t like it. Dr Stone offered prayer. One of the most touching I ever heard. The Chaplins acted as pall bearers. The boat which was expecting to lieve last night was detained. I dont know whether it will go today or not. The 5^th and a number of other regs are on their way to Washington overland. The [?] did not go quite a number of our Company are left behind

 

I have got over my head ache and feel nicely this morning. I hope I shall hear from you soon.

SOURCES