Camp Copeland P^a

                                                                                                            Dec 24^th 1863

 

Dearest Mollie,

                        I know not where you are to night, what you are doing or what you are thinking about, but I presume, that you are awaiting with much anxiety the coming of tomorrow, with a magnificent dinner in prospect, and may you fully enjoy it is my earnest wish.

 

But how changed are the circumstances to night from those, which surrounded me just one year ago.—I shall ever most vividy remember, last christmast eve spent as it was along the banks of the old Rappahannock that night I was on picket and how oft did I ask myself the question shall I ever be permitted to see you of whom I then had no right to allow myself the sweet privilege of even loving, when I take a retrospective view of the past, and compare it with prospective one of the present, I can hardly / realize the happiness and blessings which I now enjoy. how very different from being a war worn soldier without so much as one member of the whole human family to care for me, who was suffering all the privations and hardships to which a soldiers life is rife to the present, where as it were I have been transferred from an inhospitable country to a land abounding in plenty, where we can lubricate upon the luxuries of such a land, but above all, where I can see, and know that my life is not without an object, where I have a dear girl whom I may love & someday call my wife, and of whom I am really loved in return. Truly I have great reason to rejoice, and be thankful to the Giver of all those immeasurable blessings of which I do not merit the least of them.

 

But with the help of God I shall try to be worthy (if such a thing is practicable) in the future. In looking back over my past life I feel sorry for what I have done, and much more so for what I have left undone, however I shall endeavor to do better in the future.

 

Dear Mollie I fear that did you know me better / you would not think of me as you appear too, but would almost despize me, for I have in my boyhood, been very very bad, indeed so bad, that I often wonder that I now have a being in the world.

 

But to change the subject for it is a very unpleasant one to me, I have been busy all day making preparations for the coming dinner in prospect, and shall be so tomorrow. what did you think of my last letter? was it very interesting? did you know that I had not received your letter, which was written on the eleventh, and owing to some unaccountable delay, did not reach me until yesterday morning, or did you think that I was beginning the old practice.

 

                                    I shall have to stop as it is getting late. You may look for me sometime soon, cant say when, write soon.

 

                                                            from your

                                                                        Harry.

SOURCES