Office of Supt of Blacks

                                                                                                New Berne North Carolina

                                                                                                Friday Apr 3^rd 1863

 

My Very Dear Wife

                                    I received a good long letter from you and Ellen and Eddie last night. I also received a note from Mr Anthony. He said he must be provokingly brief this time. He wrote that he thought there were indications of the especial presence of the Spirit of God among his people. At an Army prayer meeting they raised a small sum for papers for the Army. three copies of the Congregationalist are to be sent to me for Co I. He wrote no other news I was glad to get even a note from him. I have not heard from Mr Goodale since the letter he sent by you. I wish he would write me once more. From what Ellen wrote I judge Mary does not conclude to go back. I am rather sorry but it may be for the best.

 

I hardly expected to hear from you again at S. but am glad that you felt like staying there so long as I know it has gratified them very much.

 

I think you must be very tired and I think when you wrote a little bit blue, shant allow that anyway. I am glad that you did not try to visit much in S. When you do not feel like making exertion take it easy, do not feel that you must do so and so to see if you are able to, just let it go that you do not feel able.

 

I was very much surprised to learn of Mrs Nichols death. It must have been sudden to you. How many pleasant afternoons you have spent with her. So one by one the friendships and companionships of earth are broken off to be renewed, not here. Some of them O sad to think, never! When we are so often reminded of our / uncertain hold upon Earthly good and earthly pleasures, how strange it is that we will not seek enduring good and everlasting joys.

 

            I have not yet found out what Mrs Cuttler is sick but I suppose Mrs Aaron Cuttler. Do you know how he bears it? It seems sad for a young mother like her to be called away from her little family where to us she seems to be so much needed but I have no doubt that to her it would be gain. And who knows but as a “ministering spirit” she may be able to do more than she could here. We can see but a little way into the mystery of God’s eternal plans and workings.

 

I am glad that as yet I can hear that all my dear family and friends at home are well, and yet I always try to feel prepared when I open a letter for whatever news it may contain. I shall be glad to hear from you again at home and hope to hear that after you get rested your long visits have done you good. I was much pleased with Eddie’s little letter. I did not suppose that he was so much attached to his Marlboro home.

 

            I remain where I was when I wrote last and will not ask to be recalled to the reg since you feel better to have me here. Mr Means is very sick. It is quite doubtful if he is ever any better. If he should be better the Dr says he must go north so that I presume he will be obliged to resign his office

 

            I do not know what will be done if he does but suppose some one else will be appointed. I have heard Mr James spoken of. he would make a good one. If he should be appointed I think he would keep the same clerks that Mr Means has had.

 

Mr James is now with his reg at Plymouth.

 

            Gen Foster with quite a force is now at Washington N.C. / The rebels have surrounded the place and demanded its surrender. Gen Foster sent back word that if they sent in a flag of truce on such an errand again he would take those who came with it prisoners.

 

            The rebels seem to be in a condition in which they must fight or give it up. If so that is just what we want. I think that it only wants firmness and vigor in our Army to give us some speedy victories. I think it very probable that they may make a demonstration against New Berne again yet, but I do not think it would do them any good. I went over Fort Totten, a new fort which commands the entrances to the rear of the town, last night. It is a very strong place. I do not see how it could be taken if defended with any pluck The fort has cost the government over two millions of dollars. There is a fine view of the country around from it. Two companies of the 8^th Mass are in the fort

 

            You ask when we are going to be paid off. I wish I knew. I do not see any indication of it at present. One hundred thousand dollars came on the last steamer but that would go but a little way toward paying the men here.

 

            I enjoy our “family” here very much. We have a fine set of men. Have had a good many changes in it since I have been here some recalled and others take their leave but we have always been fortunate in getting good men. A new man came in this week from the 3^rd reg. He has been to Kansas, Oregon, Sandwich Islands and I dont know where else. he is a Methodist. We continue to have evening prayers and all seem to enjoy them. We always have them at about 9 o’clock The dear home circles are never forgotten then.

 

            I think I wrote you that we boarded two post office clerks. I found the other day in conversation with one of them, Mr John Bryant, that he was a classmate of Clara Fisk at / at the Normal School. He showed me a few verses that he sent to her on the death of her sister Mrs Goodale. I made him give them to me for you as I know that you would like them. I think them very fine. (You will find them enclosed if I dont forget it)

 

            When I think how kindly God has watched over me and how gently he has led me since I have been here, I feel ahsamed that I have ever distrusted his goodness and Fatherly care. And yet He is sometimes the kindest to us when He seems most severe. I am glad to see that you try to be prepared for anything you may hear from me, that is wise. I am glad you do, But at the same time do not loose faith in God, and if what we call adversity should come, let us not forget that Infinite Love controlls in the affairs of this world Let us be ready to say, though may God spare us the occasion of saying, “Blest be the sorrow   Kind the storm   That drives us nearer home.”

 

            I have not and do not for a moment regret that I enlisted. I have felt it a great privation to be so long from you, but I feel that God has blessed me in coming and to you I can say that I feel that the discipline of my soldier life and of my position here in the office, have developed me as I should not have been at home.

 

            Are we not more to each other now that we have been willing to make this sacrifice for what we believe to be a great and good cause? It does do one good to sometimes get out-side of self.

 

I love to sit by our good open fireplace after most of the fellows have gone to bed, and think on and live over the happy years which have passed so swiftly away since I first knew you. You have made my home a pleasant one I do not know what you could have done more.

 

I hope this absence from it will teach me to appreciate it better than I used to.

                        Affectionately Yours Charles W. Hill.

SOURCES