New Madrid, Mo.

                                                                                                            Dec 11^th 1862

                                                                                                                        Wednesday—

 

My Dear Annie—

                        Your letter of the 1^st inst. was rec^d to day. You will not be surprised when I tell you it was very welcome. It is the fourth letter I have rec^d from you since I left—Although you say you have written five. The mails are no doubt to blame for the delay. last Sunday I had two letters from you, and it seems a long time since then. I was on guard yesterday, and was not relieved until nearly morn to-day. How I was delighted to find upon my return to the quarters, that a mail had arrived, & brought a letter from you which was awaiting my arrival! I was glad to hear from you I say, but a feeling of disappointment came to me, as I read your letter—at not finding the information that the “business matter” was not satisfactory, of which you promised to write me. perhaps it was too soon for you to ascertain when you wrote. I hope the next mail will bring letters from you containing the welcome (or unwelcome) tidings I was sorry to hear of your indisposition & sincerely hope you will be very careful about exposing yourself in such a manner in the future. /

 

I feel sure that Jno. M^c. H.’s society must be very agreable to you, at least it is productive of much fun I have no doubt. Does he still hold to the belief that I made a confident of him in matrimonial matters? I hope he will continue to make himself agreable. Do you remember when we met him, on Brady St? Was’^nt it funny? I wonder if he ever found out how “our folks” were swindled by our journey to Rock Island. but changing the subject—I have heard of Lt. Col. M^c. one Co. of his Regt. Capt. Moon’s was stationed here when we came and then at Island No 10, and later still at Ft. Pillow. I had also heard from Capt. Moon—that “Mr M^c” was promoted, and that he was stationed at La Grange Tenn. If we are ever near his regt. I shall be glad to meet him, but I have not much idea that we will go further south, as judging by the number of troops going down the river every day. the rebels in the west must soon be nearly, or quite extermanated (that word is spelled wrong!) certainly long before spring. The rumor in camp a few days ago was that three Cos of the six here, were to go to Pittsburg Landing. I was afraid it was so, but it turned out to be a “Camp story.” I should be very sorry if we were sent off to some such out of the way place where we should not get a mail oftener than twice a month, it is bad enough here on the Mississippi! /

 

I wrote you a day or two ago what fine times the Lieut’s were having. since then five of them have been put under arrest for improperly communicating the countersign to the privates, thereby endangering the safety of the command. Those under arrest are not allowed to do any duty and thereby those who behave themselves have the work to do. How long this state of things will last I do not know, but hope it will not be long. We still have any quantity of intelligent contrabands in camp. Since I wrote you fifteen have come in from one old farmer who lives 15 miles from here. They brought all their goods took one yoke of oxen, four mules, 2 wagons, a horse & buggy, from their Master, who with another man came in the same day for the teams. They tried to persuade the darkies to go back and get some new clothes that was intended for the winter’s wearing, but they were too sharp. They were afraid they would not be allowed to return, and they prized their freedom more than a new suit of clothes. They helped the Master hitch his teams to the wagons, and the old coudger codger went off—If not a wiser man, at least a sadder and poorer one. He said that he had never sold any of his slaves, that they were all of one family, that when he was married, his “sole inheritance” was 2 niggers, a boy & a girl. This small stock has / increased to fifteen, the youngest perhaps 10 yrs old. The Master said that before the rebellion he could have sold them for $20,000. So you see it is quite expensive to rebels, when the slaves can get into the federal lines and thus obtain their freedom, to carry on a war against the government that has heretofore protected them in their enjoyment of this vanishing property. I fear many of the darkies will suffer for the commonest necessaries of life this winter. Yet I am rather glad to see them leave the rebel masters. $20,000 lost in a day is losing money, and is teaching them a lesson that they will not forget soon—viz. that “The way of the transgresser is hard—”

 

            I am obliged for the little slips you were so kind as to send me. I was not acquainted with the soldier who “slept upon his post”. The verses are very nice and I could not but think as I nod how many of those who were last winter—a year ago—in camp with me—now “sleep upon their post” at Shiloh [?] & Corinth—buried, where they fell in the fearful fight—or where, exhausted by disease, they chanced to breathe their last. Many a brave and loyal one has been sacrificed in the struggle. It is said a grateful country will remember them. so will the loving ones whose hearts are so surely desolated—

 

I often wonder if you do not grow weary of the restraints that surround you during my absence You are necessarily excluded from much society &c, that you have heretofore enjoyed, and are limited to but few sources of enjoyment. I say I often wonder if you do not feel as though you were unpleasantly situated, giving up much of the society and coming to the realization that such is the fact, and that your change of circumstances has brought you only sorrow and no joys, scarcely. It is this thought, that makes me anxious, more than any other, to return soon. You remember we have often talked of this, you assuring me I was mistaken, yet I cannot help thinking of it, and that my impressions were correct. I wish I could think I was mistaken and that you were enjoying yourself as well as if we had postponed our marriage until I had returned from the war. You will excuse me for alluding to this subject, but indeed this, and another subject, to which I have alluded elsewhere in this letter, if answered satisfactorily would relieve me of much anxiety, and would go far towards controlling my future course of proceeding about which I will write more fully sometime /

 

While I have been writing on this sheet a mail was brought in, quite a bundle of letters. I was so certain there was a letter in the package for me, but I was disappointed. Now I must wait perhaps till Sunday before I can certainly expect a mail—one may come sooner—but that is the regular mail day. It seems now that three or four days is a long while to wait for a letter from you, but I must be patient under disappointments for they come frequently. Mrs. Orcutt is still here. I have not seen her very often. She stays in-doors very closely, & Mr. Orcutt says she is very busy. I presume there is not much society that is desirable to her here. About what you shall send me for Christmas. I dont know—I am so far away that you cannot send me anything of much account with any certainty of my receiving it, within a month after it is sent. I think you had better not send anything for the above reasons and when I return you can give me what you intend to send me for a Christmas present. I am sorry that I cannot send you anything to make your Christmas pleasanter. I hope however that you will enjoy yourself during the Holydays. I wish I could enjoy them in your society. /

 

It is 8 P.M. and I am weary. I was on guard yesterday & slept but little last night. It is time to close my letter. I am getting in such a habit of writing such interminable letters, that you will certainly get tired of reading them

 

Goodnight Annie. Dont forget your prayers,

will you?

 

                                                                        Your Affec’^e Husb^d

                                                                                    Amos G. Collins

 

P.S. Joe M^c. H. is fifth Sergeant of Co “D” instead of Quartermaster’s Sergt.

            I will write again in time for the next mail—

SOURCES