Helena Arkansas Nov 4^th 1862

 

Mrs M E Keller

                                    yours of the 26 of this month has come to hand I ame very sorry to heare of poore little Willies being so poorly but I ame sorry to think you have sutch a poor opinion of me as to say you beleive I do not care about coming home or I would come home and see my sick children and that I ought to resign as other men do no officer at this time can resign unless he is sick, not able for duty or unless the Colonel will state on the papers that he is cowardly or not capable of filling the office, either whitch woulde be a disgrace to any man and I woulde rather die if my Boy dies I cannot helpe it I cannot get permission to go home all the way I can get home is / to run off and to run away in the time of war is death so I have stated the plain truth to you if you think I do not want to come home I cannot helpe it when I get paide again I ame going to try to come home if I have to go without leave if poor little Wille is so sick why is it that you did not write sooner or more often I hope he is Better by this time you have got money to hire some one helpe take care of him, do so the fact is I ame about completely discouraged after Receiveing sutch a letter from you when I have writen to you so often how I ame situated but enough, I care not for my life

 

death before                                        S J Keller

dishonor

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