Helena Arkansas Nov 7^th 1862

 

Dear wife

                                    I have just  Received a Telagraph despatch informing me that dear little Willie is not expected to live and for me to come home it is about impossible for me to do so no man soldier or officer can leave here for Home unless he runs off I would have to Buy citizens Clothes for I never could get up the River with soldiers Clothing on as I would be detected and sent back to the Regiment in disgrace and I have not more than halfe enough money to take me home as I sent nearly all home and I have none to buy sitizens clothes I did expect we would get paide off before this time I have two hundred and sixty dollars / due me at this time and probaly if I would go home at this time I would loose it there is no telling how soon we will get paide and I shoulde be present at the payment Oh my deare wife I have not Language to convey to you an idea of my feelings at present here I ame away from home and all that is neare and dear to me and cannot go home to see my deare little Boy who is probaly dieing or is already dead it is seven days since the despatch was sent from Wayne and it woulde take me probaly seven days to get home from to day whitch would make fifteen days and by that time he will either be dead or geting well and I have no doupt he is laying under the colde sod at this time or is / geting well Oh Lord if I but just knew at this time how he is but I must wait untill news comes as soon as I get paide I ame going to try to come home, if I get Court Martialed and turned out of the service we are here all under cruel Military Law, do write often to day I ame detailed on a Court Martial and I must go with a sad and sorrowfull heart yours most devoted

            Husband

                                    S J Keller

 

to Mrs M E Keller

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