Camp of the 5^th Mass. Reg. Newbern, N.C.

Sabbath December 7^th 1862.

 

My Very Dear Martha,

                                    The long looked for letters have come. You can imagine, but I think not fully appreciate, my feelings as three letters in the dear well-known handwriting of my wife were put into my hands yesterday morning. They bore date Nov 14^th, 20^th, 28^th. I tremblingly broke the seals and read them in the order of their date The first was very satisfactory, although I couldn't but feel sad as I discovered traces of the great struggle you were making to bear cheerfully the load which is being laid upon you. The second contained the pictures of yourself and Eddie, more precious to me than gold. Yours I like very much I do not see how it could be improved. I can almost fancy while looking upon it that you are with me. Eddie's I like better the longer I look at it. He looks / older in it than he did when I left him. The dear little fellow. How many times I have thought of my parting from him on the road to Milford and of what he told you about it afterwards.

 

The next was the one you wrote Thanksgiving day. O how sad I felt to learn that you were so sick and I not with you.

 

When I think how much sorrow it has caused you. I have sometimes almost questioned whether I was in the path of duty in deciding as I did to enlist. But we did not act rashly in the matter We decided as we thought was duty and that you know is all we are responsible for. I did not perceive any indication of keeping anything back in your letter. I hope you never will I can bear to know the worst much better than to feel that I could not depend upon knowing the truth. From what you wrote the next day I hope to hear that you are as well as usual next time you write. I shall look for another letter quite anxiously. I was glad to learn that Eddie was / so well. 11 oclock—Another mail has just been brought in bringing to me the letter from Ada mailed Dec 1 and a good long one from Mother and Jemima with a note from Father. I feel as though all my good things were coming at once. I am very much obliged to Ada for her interesting letter. I may not get time to answer it this time as I am on guard today and the mail closes at 6 but I will answer it sometime. I think from present appearances we shall have mails more regularly than we have had. I hope so. I hope you will get this soon as I know how anxious you will be if you do not know that I hear from you. The Shrewsbury news you will get before this reaches you The burning of the Cummings house and barn was quite an affair I think it will be a blessing to the neighborhood. What a change took place in Joseph Cummings. How little faith we have in God. How little we realize that the "hearts of all men are in his hands"

 

I wish you could read the letter I had this morning from Mother. It was a real treat.

 

I was sorry to hear that Sarah Hastings felt so sad. I do not think it right to feel that because a friend has enlisted therefore he will / not return. To be sure he may not and he might not live if at home. God watches over us here as at home. The longer I am here the more I am convinced that a large proportion of the sickness in camp is caused by imprudence and disapation. Not all of course. I never enjoyed better health in my life than I do now. I weigh 154 lbs. I never weighed over 159. I do not know of course how long I shall be but I mean to take good care of myself and if sick I shall be well taken care of by Claflin, so I hope you will not give yourself any uneasiness about me. If I am sick you will know it. If I was where I could I should not feel easy untill was with you to render you what assistance I could in your weakness. But as I cannot come to you I feel that I can and do leive you in the hands of our "Elder Brother" who has been tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin. I am so glad that you are where you receive such good care If you feel the cold so much I think you are wise in giving up visiting this winter though it will be a great disappointment to Shrewsbury and Marlboro friends. But look out for your own health first. I confess I feel more anxious about your health than I do about myself. Do not let your nerves get so strained up again if you can help it. For my sake and for Eddies take good care of yourself. At the same time perhaps you may confine yourself too closely at home. But I will trust your own judgment about that. There is nothing new here that I know of We have not got into barracks yet.

 

This morning was quite cold. Water froze last night more than an inch in thickness. I think it must be cold at the north. I like the feeling of the air here better when it is somewhat cool.

 

I have not seen Hastings or Tony or any one out of the reg since I wrote last. I expect to have a pass tomorrow, and shall try to see some of them.

 

All in the company that you know are well.

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