little Rock Ark May 27, 64

 

Dear "Billy"—

                                    Your last to me, was rec'd at Camden, but is not now at hand; having lost it the way hither. I think an excuse from me, for my long delay would be superfluous. Jacob was here to see me on the 6^th or 7^th inst. he no doubt wrote you that I was wounded in the battle of "Jenkins Ferry" on the 30^th ult. I was very much surprised to see him. I had read in one of your letters of his having enlisted in the 12^th Mich. but I had not even thought of the probability of its coming here. He promised to come over again a few days, but as he did not come I inquired & learned that the 12^th Mich had gone across the Ark. R. towards Brownsville. I have not heard from him since.

 

You better believe we gave the Rebs an awful whipping out on the Sabine River. A detachment of cavalry was sent out from here to see about our wounded & to bury the dead. They returned one day last week, I believe, saying our wounded had been taken to Princeton & those but slightly wounded to Camden; but the dead were left on the field (after being stripped, according to rebel custom) unburried. Rebel prisoners since taken say they burried 2100 of their own dead on the field. They said the story among them was that we threw our dead into the river to prevent them from seeing them. This is about as true & nearly as absurd as what a woman near "Prairie Deadlin" said after the battle there She said: "You wouldn't have whipped the Rebels if you hadn't had a Gunboat." On the prairie a "Gunboat"! But you have probably read an account of the expedition in the papers, so I will write about something that you wont find in political papers.

 

            You wished to know in your last whether I / still enjoyed "Religion". Yes William, I love the Religion of our Savior better than ever. But far be it from me to boast. If I had been left to myself, I would long ago have been a "Deserter". But God hath said "I shall neither forsake thee, nor neglect thee", and I believe it. I have met with many trials & temptations since I became a soldier. I have often almost despaired of ever being saved, often doubted the great mercy of God; but, God be praised. I have always been comforted again. "When I am weak, I am strong". Jesus has called me by name. I am His and Satan can not pluck me out of His hand. I have been twice very near the "Gates of Death" within a year; and thank God for it. It has brought me nearer to Jesus. I am yet alive. The day of Grace is not yet past. I am still standing as a monument of His Love & mercy. God is going mysterious ways with me; I can not see what His object is; but I trust in Him, knowing that all will be well. William, I am a greater sinner to day than a year ago. I feel it, and I thank God that he has opened my eyes. I have cause to repent every day. God's mercy appeareth greater to me from day to day. O what am I, that Thou who art a holy God, shouldst be mindful of me, a poor, sinful worm of the dust! William I can to day speak of the mercy of God more than ever before. I feel that He has strengthened my faith & touched my heart with the finger of His Love. I never felt so willing to follow my Master as now; I never loved my Savior as I do now; never felt such a willingness to forsake all, even the dearest object on earth, for His will. I was never so happy as now. Have I not cause to be thankfull? Should / not my heart leap for joy? Has not God given me the assurance of my Salvation? Have I not received the "Seal" of my Inheritance in the everlasting Kingdom above? Have I not been blessed with all, aye, even now than I ever asked for?

 

            William I thank God that I can answer with all my heart: Yes! I do enjoy "Religion", not because I will it, but because God hath chosen me & it is His will that I should inherit Eternal life. I am glad that you asked the question. It is a proof of your own "Loyalty". It shows that you love the children of God. Watch & pray that you fall not into temptation. Resist the entices of the evil One. Let Christ be your "All in all". Walk as a true Disciple of the Lord; with meekness, humility, patience & endurance. Reproach sin wherever you meet it. Show the wicked their danger & try to show them the right way. But do it after the example of Jesus.

 

            I am glad to know that you are making an effort to be useful & to make an honorable livelyhood. Be true to God, to yourself, & the world & all will go well. Study out the problem of life Let all be to the honor of God.

 

William I so long to see you & speak with you, but that can not be now. But the happy time may not be so far distant as we think it to be.

 

            William, allow me a privelidge of true friendship. Let me give you a little advice. You are, I well know, not strong enough for a proffession that requires great animal strength. You are not robust. You must chose a proffession that requires more "head work" than bodily labor. But what shall that be? Have you decided? / If you have not, do so as soon as possible. And if you have, assure yourself that you are right & then "stick to it" and go ahead. Let no obstacle make you swerve in your resolution. When you have undertaken an object, follow it out. Perseverence is the key to success. If you do not persevere in that which you have undertaken, you will not accomplish anything. Above all do nothing & undertake nothing which you think God will not approve. Ask His advice in all things & He will bless the work of your hands.

 

            As your letter is not here I can not tell whether I have fully answered it or not. But if I have omitted anything of importance, please apprise me of the fact when you write again. My wound is beginning to heal & I think I shall be fit for duty in two months. I could get a furlough, but I can not spare $50 or $60 for a visit home. Think I shall wait till next summer when my time will be out. But the rebels are so careless with their weapons that I may get shot before that time. They came pretty near sending me "up the spout" this time. But you know a bad weed is hard to kill: cut the stem of & the roots will grow.—Guess I shant write a book this time, so I shall make arrangements to camp untill further orders.

 

Give my love to your parents. Tell your father to write me once more if he can.

 

            With the assurance of my unchangeable love & friendship to you I close.

                                                                                                            John.

 

N.B. If you have much to do, I would advise you to lay this up for a rainy day. Don't have to work in the garden on rainy days do you?

 

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Postage stamps are scarce article here. How are you?

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