Hd. Qtrs. Artillery Reserve A.P.

Camp near Fairfax C.H. V^a June 23^d 1863

 

Dear Sir.

                        Your letter of June 5^th and accompanying recommendation came duly at hand, and my apology for not sooner acknowledging it is, that we broke camp the day following and 'til now I have not found time. Many thanks for your ready response, your generous recommendation and free expression of opinion of my weakness as you saw it fault it could hardly be called, if true. Without attempting to alter your opinion of others who were and are connected with the 32^d, allow me in all sincerity and with careful deliberation to say that as far as yourself was concerned I never complained of your treatment of myself or Co."C." never. But you will remember you were away during the most critical times of last summer, and both myself and Co. "C" were abused, misrepresented and insulted aye and cheated in "rations" and at a time when to take from a soldier his proportion of what was issued was more than robbery. You and I differed in regard to A.Q.M. Hoyt, and Surg. Adams, but it was merely a difference of opinion. I have ever said of you that you were candid and impartial, and none deplored your absence last summer, rejoiced at your return, or regretted your final leave more than myself. You say "it was not uncommon to hear of / other Comd'g. Officers occasionally imputing unfair treatment to you, but with me it was habitual. Verily there must have been friends of mine in constant communion with you; and though I sometimes wished a greater evidence of cordiality I must say I never dreamed of your having such ideas of my regard towards you. I said I would not bring others into unpleasant remembrance, and I leave that matter here, again assuring you, most woefully were you mistaken in my feelings towards yourself. The nighest I ever came to complaining was that wet night you ordered myself and Command to the ammunition train. Though very sore (and sick at the time) I did not even demur but struck camp at once. Had I known as I am compelled to believe now that you had asked Capts. Cunningham & Dearborn if they would like to go, I certainly would have resisted on the ground of being the Color Company. But what I resented then has turned out very pleasant and desirable, save that it may have hindered chances of promotion. I am sure if I can believe what I hear that Lt. Hamilton & Orderly Sergt. Tillson have suffered from being ordered on "detached" service. The sentence a part of which reads, "when you had occasion to communicate with me officially, by some phrase or look or by some word, you allowed it to be understood that your Co. or yourself was unfairly treated by me" is pretty loosely drawn for you. How am I responsible for allowing what I dont know exists, and never dreamed did exist? and to infer, from such slight evidences is not like you, as you have appeared to me. You say I even in the letter you were replying to speak in parenthesis of notorious Co. "C". I did but with far different intent than you have rec'd it. It was to suggest a comparison between it then, and it now and with perhaps vain pride in view of its present standing. There is but one / company in the Regt. I think which has so many men for duty as "C" while its "total" is as small if not the smallest. We have had 3 different Commanding Officers to the Reserve and with all the Co. has stood more than well, and at every inspection has been creditably noted in the column of Remarks. Thats why I wrote notorious Co. "C". I of course would have preferred another Co. but never thought of complaining because it was the only vacancy at the time I was Com. At the risk of confirming you in your opinion of my "morbid jealousy" I can but express a curiosity to know which of two meanings may attach to your expression of my "peculiar fitness for Garrison or Provost duty", is your meaning. I am not a bit offended at your freedom. It is just like you and I honor you the more for it. Would I could have known the thoughts you entertained, before. I assure you they are and were purely visionary. Has Mr. Cobb to your knowledge rec'd a money letter from me since his return home? Should you feel it not a waste of time and incline to write me it would be a pleasure to, and duly appreciated by

 

Your Obt. Servt

with much Respect and Regard

  J. C. Fuller.

 

F. J. Parker Esq.                                                                                

Boston Mass.

 

Lt. Hamilton wishes to be kindly remembered to you

 

[endorsement]

 

Capt Fuller

            June 23^d 1863

SOURCES