Dighton August 12^th 1862

 

Dear Major.

                        I have received the letter you wrote me from Hilton Head and those which you brought with you. I tried to find you Saturday after I heard of your arrival, but was unsuccessful. I presumed you did as I did, made a strait walk to find somebody we like better than we do ourselves.

 

            Man is selfish but not altogether so where woman is concerned. I am a great deal better than I was when I left Hilton Head. I do not now think, when I remember how wearied I felt that I should have stood it there a great while longer, then. for the first two days on ship board I was completely used up. There were some things I could hardly do when I got home [torn] I find I am improving.

 

            So Major the "Fingal" has not yet arrived. She is a long time a coming you recolect she was expected down the river so long ago as last winter all covered [faded] road iron and cotton bales [faded] about an attack on Hilton [faded] I met last / Spring. perhaps however the expectation will have a good effect in finishing up and packing things to night that you know my often lamented [?] left in an unforsaken State nor perhaps will they now look upon General Shermans affairs with as much ridicule as your friend (excuse me) Gen^l B[?] affected to. You will recolect you did not see much of B[?] previously in the advance on Charleston.

 

            Major I want to see you very much here and my wife sends love and a very particular invitation to Mrs Metcalf to come with you if it is only for a day, tho we should be glad to have you stay much longer. I do not know what your intentions or arrangements are for the future but I fear our paths will diverge and I am sorry for it. For a year past we have been much together and if I were [torn] a man or if a man may be permitted to say he loved a man, so was I attached to you. therefore let us have a day or two together in [?] quietness before we separate.

 

            Dighton is a place that has no attractions [faded] on the contrary I hate it and its inhabitants [faded] to some exceptions. perhaps a good many [faded] here I begin to count up my / friends. "but the exception proves the rule"—what do you think Major of my intemperance having been the cause of all the trouble I had at Hilton Head and "what a wreck Ruin! been made of him" What ever my faults are they are like "a noun of multitude signifying many" you know I drank no whiskey. [?] milk [?] the only time I tasted it while absent. My God to what base uses does poor human nature sometimes lose itself. but it has been said "be thou as pure as ice and chaste as snow thou shalt not escape calumny."

 

            I would like to have all my friends seek for the comforts that money confers but if I have any who was particularly sensitive then I would like to have him rich, so covered with gold that those poor [?] could not see the faults the poverty of money discloses.

 

            I have had no interview with the Governor [torn] shall rather take your advice whether it is best [torn] seek one. I hope you and Mrs M. may be able to come & see us. it is not a long ride from Barrington, on the river 2½ miles north of Somerset Village and I shall be here all the week certain including next Sunday

                                                                                               

Ever Yours

NWB

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