Near Byhalia Oct 7^th 62

 

My Dear Mother,

                                    With feelings of the most sad, I communicate to you the death of Uncle John.

 

He received the fatal shot when within 20 yards of the intrenchments at Corinth, gallantly leading his Brigade. He died Friday evening at 5 o'clock, 2 or 3 hours after he was wounded. He told me before the action commenced that he would be killed in that battle, but said that he would do his whole duty if he was shot into shoestrings. I was in hopes that after having passed unharmed at Shiloh and Iuka he might still be spared for future usefulness but an all wise God has seen proper to direct otherwise & we must quietly submit. I would willingly have died to save him, but I could not 

 

Aunt Rosa arrived here to day from Okolona.

 

To have seen her grief or heard her lamentations was enough to have forced tears from a rock, and I much fear that it will cause her a long spell of sickness.

 

            Oh my Mother will this cruel war never end. What have we done so to provoke the anger of the Gods? Already the country is overflown with the blood of her noblest sons and yet their wrath is not appeased. Oh pray for me and for our afflicted country, ask God to direct my steps in the proper course and to spare me for some future usefulness. I truly feel now that I am in the ocean, the waves rolling high the storm raging no rudder to my frail barge / and but a boy at the helm. Ask Him to give our statesmen and generals such wisdom as once more peace may be restored to our unhappy country.

 

You can not imagine my feelings. I have left all my friends to follow Uncle John, and now that he is killed, cut off from you all, indeed I feel almost as though I was deserted.

 

I have not heard a word from Pa nor you since I left, except indirectly. Col Dill told me Pa was in Grenada 3 weeks ago. Have not heard a word from Brother J. since July when he was on his way to Chattanooga He is in Kentucky some where, the country every where presents one scene of gloom & desolation. Every family has lost some one near and dear. No one talks or thinks of any thing but war. What would / I not give once more to return home to you all! but alas it can not be so. The Federals seem more determined than ever, and when I think of giving up the contest the ghosts of thousands appear before me, all mangled and bloody and in tones which can not go unheeded cry never never no never.

 

            I will return to the Brigade Monday, what they will do with me I do not know. while I was in the engagement I did my whole duty but left the field with Uncle John. All in the command are strangers to me. I have been in bad health all the summer, but am a good deal better now. If you can possibly come out to see me Friday or Saturday do so. I would do almost anything to see you. Aunt Kate must come anyhow for I wish to know some facts in

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