Providence June 17^th 18⁶⁴

 

Dear Father

                                                I received your letter some time ago but knowing that you were soon to leave the Island have waited until I should know where to direct my letters haveing but just heard where to direct them from Mr Blodget. I write one also to Ernest to day. Father you said in your letter you had not received any papers from home. I am sure I have sent you as many as ten papers if not more. Dear Father you do not know how much we miss you and Ernest at home now more then ever it always makes me sad to write to you, you will say it ought to be a pleasure it is Father but still it makes me sad to some times. why it is I can not tell but lately I cannot write without crying two or three times before I get through. Neither can I look at a soldier without feeling sad all I care about is to know you and Ernest are safe and I will leave the rest to God. the Family are all well except Dear Frank. in body he is just the same but in mind Oh how much better I do believe some day that he will be all right you know I always was a little hopefull even when the rest were all dispareing about him my trust is in God who does all things for the best and we can but wait his time. the second Regiment came home a short time ago after three years service. You can not imagine how they look those noble men some wounded in one place some in another and some a poor cripple for life Oh it was sad. sad to see them thus and not more then two hundred in all, can you gess my feeling then. Dear Father as I stood and looked at them it was of the broken hearts who wached them who were waiting for their soldier but he was not ther for they did not know who was dead or who liveing the papers did not tell the names. poor disappointed ones the day / before so hopeful and then to find their hopes all crushed I pray God if you never come back to take me first for I do not wish to live and know the agony of a broken heart my heart could never break but once for it would last for ever Oh that you all knew me better then you do I have tried so hard when others cried not to my self and was meny times called indifferent do you know Father about two years ago you one day called me so from that day I thought you did not love me no matter how I tried not to think so. when I saw you laugh sing and play with the rest it was then it would haunt me most that you did not love me Oh how hard I would try to make you all think I did not care I think I succeeded for I often heard them call me an indiferent thing I was far from it Dear Farther, I always had a kind of way of hideing from others what I felt my self and thank God that I was left to find my way alone for if it had not been so I shrink when I think of what it would have been if I had been petted the jealous feeling I then had would have hurt me more then any thing else but enough of this I do not know what has made me write as I have but I can not help it my thoughts are here on this paper, read them Father and help me to do right, both to God and you I am sad to day more so then usual I always am on sundays now especialy if I try to write. I can not help it as shure as I try to write my thoughts go rite down on the paper next time I will try to do better in letter writing but this must do for to day. it is splendid out doors Linie Ardele and Lizzie has gone to Church over to St. Stephens Delly to the Second Universalist the sun is very bright out of doors it is also very warm I surpose I have no business to talk to you about the heat you a soldier and down South to I surpose it is beautiful down there now I only wish I was there then what nice times we would have you / Ernie and I and that first Lieutenant of yours. Father tell him the next time he make Captain Simon's daughters a promise he had better keep it we expected a letter from him that is he told Liny when there was any news he would write and tell her all about it tell him I did not think a collegian who could not write of course he can not or he would have written be fore. dont tell I said he could not it was only in fun thats all. I shall have my pictures taken soon then you can tear the old one up and take a better Louise then before. I must close if I want to write to Ernest to night or it will be to late if I wait much longer I am afraid it to late already if I can not write him a long letter I at least will write him a little note and but it in side of this my time all taken up on every other day but Sunday I am learning to be a millener as I surpose you all ready know by this time. Mr Wilcox sends his respects to you also Mr Rice and Mr Blodget Maggie goes to morrow to Mr Blodget's Next to do dress makeing for one week or more at $1 a day I think that is dooing nicely dont you Father for such times as these $6 per week quite a fortune where one earns it all themselves I went to Mrs Brogdens the fourth of May on the fifth I was sixteen think sweet sixteen just sixteen when I commenced to learn my trade Lizzie is nearly twenty and Liny Oh dear quite an Old Made almost twenty three it is growing dark and this must go to morrow. I must close and go down stairs they have called me two or three times already I will send you paper to morrow with this letter I must close write oftener and make Ernest write more we / have not had but one letter from him since he left home I will write him a letter to morrow evening or to night if i have time to do so to night excuse bad writeing mistakes and

                                                                                               

also your Daughter

for the Present            Louise

 

PS                                                                                            

answer this as soon as you get it

                        Lou

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