N. Stonington April 16^th 1865

My Dear Court—

I am very sad to-day—such shocking news as I have heard. our President dead shot in cold blood, is it possible? Who could be so daring & so fiendish and devilish? I do think it is terrible, the worst thing that has happened to this nation in a long time. He was such a good man. Who can fill his place and do as well? and just at this time too when I had hoped the worst was over the rebellion nearly crushed It must be dangerous for any one with union sentiments to be any where near the devils. Have they no honor left? no/humanity—My God! how long must this continue! Will justice and right never prevail? I do hope they will get the murderer and I think they will. It cannot be that God in heaven will forget such crimes or let them go unpunished. I am in hopes some good may grow out of this, if good can ever grow out of evil. I have always thought the north too easy with the south. Perhaps they will look out for them for the future. I would sooner trust the devil than some of those southrans. I think they can go far ahead of him in crime & cruelty. I do not expect to see you now untill your time is out. God protect you and save you ‘till then. It does seem to me more dangerous/than ever now. How badly must Mrs Lincoln feel. If it had been you, I should have wanted the same bullet to kill me too.—I expected a letter from you to-day but was disappointed. Hope I may get one very soon, and I hope too that you will write very often, if you have not time to write a letter, write a line. just enough to say that you are alive for I am very much troubled about you now all the time. I do think that this is the most horrible and cruel war that I ever heard or read of. God grant that it may soon cease.

I have no news to write. Mother Stanton has been up to uncle Smith’s all the week and has not yet returned. I have been to church to-day Elder Tracy/preached. I am at Nellie Tracy’s this afternoon. she is reading. I am very lonesome, but am thinking of my Court and loving him Oh! so much. Court I do believe if you should die I should go crazy for the thought of what might possibly happen to you now makes me almost so.—but as your time is so near out I am hoping that you will be spared to me. and when it is over I’ll be happy, you’ll never leave me again will you darling? and I love you so much better for not being a coward. Dear good Court—How much I want to see you to-day or even hear from you, to know that you are all safe. but I must wait hoping to hear soon. Write often—                                                                Mary.