New Haven May 23^rd 1860.

 

Dear Father

                        It is not very amusing to write letters home, letters intended to please those at home, letters to let those at home know that all is well with the absent ones—and have those letters misunderstood and instead of being a comfort as designed, be a trouble and grief, as my last was. Pray read my letter dated May 21^st or thereabouts, and see if your answer to it is not uncalled-for and a little too cutting. In the first place as to the "blank letter" which contained an account of the Prize Fight—It was word-for word like one you sent me last term. If it seemed insolent and wrong, it was not intended as such. In my next I said that perhaps you might think I was engaged in the fight. Of course this was a joke. But you reply that you did not suppose that my Christian principle & self respect would allow me to have any thing to do with such abasement, and that you and Mother were surprised and grieved to learn that I was not only present at the disgraceful scene, but acted the part of friend and second of one of the parties. I was present at the disgraceful scene, and if I had not, with a few others, been there, the end and / consequences of the affair would have been far different from what they were. I was not a second of Duffield's & can not see why you and Mother thought so. I am his "friend". The "Christian principle" and the fact that he is a member of the church makes me so. How did I show friendship for him before the fight? By urging him not to fight. By holding up before him the disgrace it would bring on him and his family. How at the fight? By breaking up the fight, by wiping the blood from his face, helping him dress and taking him home. This is what, and it is all I did. Was I "his second"? Did I "incur the disapprobation of the Faculty"? Did I "compromise my character"? Did I "countenance D's crime"? Did I not "exert myself to prevent the fray"? In short is there any ground for anxiety or grief to you and Mother? I do not write to excuse myself for any crime you charge upon me, if the charge is founded of facts, nor do I wish in this particular case to make my conduct appear in any but its true light. But when I did what I thought right and my conduct was praised by all, except a few who wanted the fight to go on as long as both could stand—I think there is some excuse for answering the accusation. You were quite right in thinking that I would not willingly & knowingly do anything to give you and Mother pain. Therefore I most heartily regret that you should have so venally misconstrued / my letter. I must be more careful what I write in future. You have probably received my letter containing George's by this. Of course I shall wait for an answer to it. I shall expect Geo. to-night, though he may stop over night in New York. With love to Mother, and earnest regret that I should have caused her and you even momentary anxiety and sorrow, and a promise to be a comfort to you both as much as I am able, by conformity to your will and Our Father's

I am

                        Your aff son Charley.

 

P.S. I shall need some more money soon. I have had my society (Limonia) taxes to pay, both last term's and this--$4.00.

 

[overleaf]        Charley           May 60

SOURCES