Hiram Phelps Arms was born on June 1, 1799, in Windsor, Connecticut, to William Arms and Mercy Snow. His father was a merchant and lawyer. In the early 1800s, Arms later wrote, his father “spent a year or two travelling in the Western and Southern States on business connected with some patent,” and while he was gone, the family lived with Arms’s maternal grandmother in Goshen, Massachusetts. His father returned around 1807, but he soon abandoned the family altogether. Arms spent the next few years with aunts and uncles in New Hampshire and Massachusetts.
In 1815, he began working as an apprentice gold- and silversmith. He eventually moved to Northampton, Massachusetts, where he worked in the shop of Ebenezer Strong Phelps. Arms later recalled that Phelps was “a father to me, and, on leaving him to enter upon a course of education, I assumed his name [as a middle name].” Arms’s mother died in 1817, and her death “deepened the religious convictions which I had long cherished.” He joined the First Congregational Church in Northampton soon afterward, and he decided to become a minister.
He entered Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, in 1818, and he enrolled at Yale College the following year. He graduated in 1824, and he married Lucy Ann Wadhams on September 12, 1824. They had five children, including: George, born around 1833; and Francis, born around 1834. He then “pursued a course of theological study” in Yale from 1825 until 1828, and he spent the late 1820s as principal of the Kingston Academy in Kingston, New York. He became an ordained minister in 1830, and he began work in Hebron, Connecticut. The family moved to Wolcottville (present-day Torrington), Connecticut, in 1833. In November 1834, he helped organize a Tract and Home Missionary Society in Litchfield County, Connecticut.
Finally, in 1836, the family moved to Norwich, Connecticut. His wife died on July 3, 1837, and he married Abby Jane Baker on September 12, 1838. They had three children: Sarah Jane, born on August 14, 1839; Charles Jesup, born on June 9, 1841; and Theodore, born around 1845. By 1850, he owned $2,500 of real estate. Two decades later, his wealth had grown to $5,000 of real estate and $2,000 of personal property, and he employed at least one white domestic servant.
Abby Jane died on August 10, 1878. His health deteriorated in the early 1880s. On October 4, 1881, he suffered a “slight paralysis of the throat.” Three days later, his “brain and right side were seriously paralyzed,” and he could not speak for several weeks. He died in Norwich on April 6, 1882.