Cha^s

Mar '63

Stafford Court House V^a

March 7^th 1863

 

Dear Father,

                        I wrote to Mother on the 5^th inst. saying that the box had arrived, and acknowledging the receipt of her letter, but yours of the 2^d complaining that you do not hear from me, induces me to write again thus soon. It seems that two or three of my last letters have miscarried. For instance, I wrote on Feb 14^th announcing that I had been dismissed the service, and have alluded to that fact in at least three subsequent letters, and from your letters I infer that you have not heard of the catastrophe, as you make no mention of it. Although dismissed, I am still working pretty hard for Uncle Sam, and boarding myself. The glory of the thing, of which we hear so much, is all that keeps one up. I may / as well repeat what I have written several times, that the dismissal arose from a mistake at the Provost Marshal's office at Washington, in not crediting Bassett and myself for reporting there when passing through the city. A list of about forty officers was published in the papers as being dismissed for the offence of not reporting, and ours were among the number. As no notice has reached us of the fact, and orders of a similar and subsequent date have been forwarded, it is probable either that the mistake has been discovered, or that the heinous offence has been pardoned in consideration of the fact that we have joined our Reg. and are on duty. At any rate, I am by no means as certain of being sent home as I could desire. When you write of growing old and of soon giving away to your children, I begin to think there are others who can do Picket duty / and superintend the making of roads, grubbing of camps, and digging of privvies as well as myself, and if you say much more on that subject I shall send a letter to the Hon Secy of War begging him to make my dishonorable dismissal valid.

 

Add to the ordinary troubles of a soldier's life, rumors in all the newspapers that he has been drummed out of the service, political traitor in his own state, and the conviction that the end to be accomplished by the war is every day farther and farther off, and I assure you Captain's pay and Captain's shoulder-straps do not balance the account. You will infer that I am getting sick of the service, and that inference is in the main correct. I am losing a comfortable home, am working like a dog, late to bed and early to rise—in short am foregoing all the blessings of Civilization; every hour spent in / the army is so much taken away from my profession and the attainment of a place in life: and at home it is considered doubtful whether the Governor's chair is to be filled by a patriot or an open-mouthed traitor! But what of all these hardships, sacrifices and embarassments, if the Nation is saved? So indeed. But Corduroy roads, Brigade and Division Reviews wont save the Nation. Victory wont come up to us and beg an acceptance. Peace will come, if we stay here two months longer, and peace made on Rebel terms. Cabinet and Senatorial quarrels wont save the Nation, neither will an hourly change of army commanders. Oh, for a man—some man to lead this Army of the Potomac somewhere—to Richmond or New York. Every man in this army, if he had a voice would shout, "Bring on your Rebs, or send me home.You got me / out here under the pleasing delusion that Spring would restore peace to the country and make us citizens of the United States. I have stood ready at any moment to face death in conflict with traitors. Have I not fought valiently when opportunity offered? Have I shrunk when inexperienced officers have led me against impregnable fortifications, when no shadow of hope rested on our banners? Then why am I kept back while aspiring traitors dally with my country's life and are sacrificing that to their personal advancement?"

 

            I can tell you that our Army, the hope of the country is getting demoralized, the Herald reporter to the contrary, notwithstanding. It is a fact which perhaps should not be universally published, but a fact nevertheless. Something must be done, and as of old, rumors are coming to us now that a movement is about to take place. 

 

Heaven grant it and attend it with success! Gen. Hooker is reviewing the whole army (was to be here yesterday but it rained!) wagons are being dispensed with and pack-mules used instead and activity in general appears among us. Whether it will fizzle out and amount to nothing remains to be seen. I don't want any of you to think I am spoiling for fight for it's own sake. I have no particular fancy for making myself a target for sharpshooters, but the trial must come, and I am perfectly ready for it. Give us the end, and as we are not doubtful of the result, give battle, hot and fierce, that the result may be speedy and glorious. I have a bad cold on my lungs, but am otherwise well, and in my right mind. With much love to yourself and Mother I remain (if Theo. is at home I would include him.)

 

Your aff son

Charlie

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